What happened to you, Joaquin? Does anyone know? How is it possible for someone to go from looking like this:
(children, avert your eyes!)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look for a new, hot vegan guy on which to bestow my affections. Casey Affleck, here I come! But, actually, Casey Affleck is married. So he won’t do.
Does anyone have a suggestion as to who should be my new celeb crush?
He doesn’t have to be vegan; I certainly wouldn’t say no to Orlando Bloom!