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Boy Bashing

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This year, being single, I have no qualms whatsoever about boy bashing! So grab all your gossiping girlfriends and come join me, won’t you?


If you have snow like we do in Texas, you might want to lounge around a fireplace for this gabfest, not a pool.

Don’t forget to stock up on the drinks!  (BYOW = Bring your own wine whine)

. kgirl

What’s your worst date or break-up story?

Mine is from freshman year of high school: I’d decided that I wanted to break up with my boyfriend of a few months, but since I was an immature high-schooler, of course I didn’t tell him first.  No, I went and told all my girlfriends.  Unfortunately, one of the girls had a loud mouth and told the best friend of my boyfriend, who then told the boyfriend.  (Have I lost you with this soap-opera plot?)  Well, you know how it was in high school; it was all about image, right?

So boyfriend dearest decided he needed to beat me to the punch.  Therefore, when I gave him the famous “we need to talk” line, coward boy responded by saying: “I can’t talk now; we’ll talk later!” as he bolted in the other direction.  (I sure knew how to pick ‘em…)

Later, he came up to me and said, “Katie, we have finals coming up, so I really need to concentrate and study hard for them and I don’t have time for a girlfriend right now.  So I think we should break up and get back together after finals are over.”

No joke, he actually said that!

Dear Ex Boyfriend,

I am sure you don’t read my blog, but just in case:  You should know that my friends and I made fun of your lame-o break-up line for years.

(Wait, we’re still making fun of it!)

Oh boys…

Katie is the baker, photographer, and author of the popular blog Chocolate-Covered Katie. Her favorite food is chocolate, and she believes in eating a balanced diet that includes dessert every single day. More about Katie—> 

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  1. Mine was from freshman year of high school too! I was dating this guy for about a month and he’d asked me to go to homecoming with him. I went out, got a great outfit, new makeup, got my hair cut and THE DAY BEFORE the dance he broke up with me, and proceeded to take my BFF to the dance. I forgave her, but it took years before he and I were friends again. He has since apologized, but any time I’m annoyed with him, I’ll say “you dumped me the day before homecoming!” and he still goes all red!

  2. Jessica says:

    Mine is from sophomore year in high school…I was dating this guy who I was practically obsessed with. I thought I was so lucky to be with him and I was on Cloud 9. Well, he ended up dumping me a week later because he wasn’t over his previous girlfriend (who was a really trashy friend of mine!!) Fast forward a few months…I was stupid enough to go out with him again. After a couple weeks of so-called bliss, he dumped me a few days before my birthday because I wouldn’t sleep with him. Then he told everyone in school that I was a prude and started “seeing” a teacher at our high school.

    lol, we’re actually FaceBook friends now! But I am happily married to the guy I started dating right after him, so haaaaaaaaaaa! :)

  3. Erin says:

    I had a blind date Valentine’s Day sophomore year of college. We went out for Coldstone and walked around campus holding hands. It was actually really sweet EXCEPT that he liked me way more than I liked him. I considered him a friend, he wanted more. Our friendship was incredibly awkward for the rest of the time we knew each other.

  4. Susan says:

    Haha mine is ALSO from freshman year of high school, and it ALSO includes the “word of mouth” phenomenon. I was “hanging out” with this guy and things were awesome. The winter dance was coming up, and everyone kept telling me he was going to ask me. The two of us avoided the subject however bc we were shy awkward people. Still, I foolishly went out and bought a dress, shoes, the whole shebang. It was days before the dance and I still hadn’t talked to him about it! Finally I did and he told me he wasn’t going. DOH!

  5. Jenny R. says:

    Being single on v-day is actually fun…last year my ex and I broke up literally the day before valentine’s day (and we had been together for 3 years) and I wasn’t even sad. I had the best night all by myself – I ordered sushi and watched movies and it was so good to just be by myself. PLUS if you make treats you don’t have to share them b/c we all know boys scarf treats faster than you can blink.

  6. Hahaha. Oh, Katie! That story is too much. I’m soooo glad I’m not in high school anymore. 😉 I love this post & can’t wait to read the responses!

    I have definitely gone through some serious break-ups that left me heartbroken – but my favorite break-up story is funny & makes me laugh, so I’ll share that one! It took place in middle school, so of course the guy wasn’t the love of my life or anything, but at the time, it was awful. It’s a little long, so bear with me!

    One spring evening in 7th grade, I was riding my bike to meet some friends. Well, on my way there (and not too far from my house), I crashed my bike HARD. As in, I flipped over the handlebars, got rocks, dirt & sand all in the bloody wounds on my arms, elbows, knees, legs, cheek, etc. – and my braces went through my lip!! Obviously, OUCH. Bigtime ouch. I was crying & screaming, and a neighbor who witnessed this while gardening in her front yard just went inside her house & closed the door!!! Like pretended she didn’t even see me! I ended up leaving my bike in the street & had to hobble home. My mom took me to the emergency room, where they cleaned out my wounds & put stitches in my lip. I was all bandaged up & looked AWFUL (black & blue, scrapes everywhere, swollen face & lip, ace bandages wrapped around several areas, etc.). My mom told me to stay home from school the next day, and normally I would have milked that injury for all it was worth – but I had a new “boyfriend” who I really wanted to see…

    So, against my mom’s advice (and against my better judgment!), I took my pain-killers & hobbled into school the next day & of course everyone gave me crazy looks because I should NOT have been there. Even though I was in pain & had had a terrible night, I was all excited to see my boyfriend, Zack – but when he started walking up to my locker, he saw me & turned around immediately. I thought it was weird, but I just went back to chatting with some other friends – when Zack’s best friend came up to me. In front of everyone, he said, “I have to tell you a secret.” I leaned in & he YELLED in my ear (so everyone could hear), “Zack doesn’t want to go out with you anymore! He’s dumping you.” Then he laughed, pointed at my swollen face, and walked away. I had to go through the rest of the day swollen, bruised, and scraped – and boyfriend-less. Haha.

    This probably sounds super sad in print (and it was at the time), but I’m laughing really hard as I type it because it’s so typical of middle school behavior!


  7. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce says:

    haha i’ll take a ginger boy and a fudge baby milkshake over a real boy and wine any day of the year!!

  8. McKella says:

    Mine was in my freshman year of college. I’d been dating this guy for two years and I found out that he’d been cheating, drinking, etc etc etc and we broke up for the third time, this time for good. My best friend of several years (who is male and extremely hot) and I started dating right after, and ex-boyfriend called me up to tell me what a tramp I was! I hung up on him, and I ended up marrying my best friend in the whole wide world, and we’re so happy!

  9. Ashlei says:

    Haha “break up for finals” – that would definitely make a great story 😛

  10. Yasmin says:

    No joke, I had one guy tell me I had gotten “fluffy” and gained some weight. Hmmm…I wonder why I had an eating disorder?

  11. worst breakup? 6th grade!!! do you even know the agony of 6th grade love!?!?

    we had been dating like 3 weeks, so of course we were totally in love… we even held hands at the movie (although i recall being so embarassed my friend had to actually force me to stretch out my hand and then andy’s friends forced his hand on top of mine, and we sat like that the rest of the movie. i dont think we ever even looked at each other… pure maturity!!)

    a couple days later at school one of his friends walked up to me and handed me my school picture that i believe i had passed to andy in a note a few days earlier… his friend scratched an “x” into the photo and handed it to me, and then said, “andy says you’re not cute anymore”

    i guess that meant we were breaking up…

    and i was so convinced he was THE ONE!


  12. I’ve repressed all of my bad boyfriends, LOL. Thankfully my husband is awesome. :)

    You look so pretty by the wine bottles.


  13. My 7th grade boyfriend broke up with me over AOL, on the night of the 90210 series finale. I don’t even remember the finale because I was sobbing hahaha. F you, Brad Puglisi.

  14. That is the lamest break-up line ever. What boy is serious enough about finals to actually break up with their girlfriend for study time. You should have punched him in the face. :-)

  15. Mama Pea says:

    I’d leave you a comment, but I just really need to focus on what’s going on in my life right now…but I’ll leave you a comment when all of that is over, okay? 😉 😉 :)

    I have no doubt your Prince Charming is right around the corner!!!

  16. ohkansascity says:

    This is my first single Valentines day since I was 16, so I’m feeling a really nervous about it. But I’m going to have one of the good kind of boys over (he’s gay, and fabulous), eat vegan food and drink Margaritas! Best valentine a girl could ask for.

    And my current break up has to be the worst of the worst. =(

  17. Worst break up…they all pretty much ended with, “I don’t really want a girlfriend at this point in my life.” Thank goodness I found CD. He was the one finally ready for me. :)

  18. The Brunette says:

    Amazing how boys seem to think their girlfriends will be totally okay with breaking up and getting back together to suit the guy’s schedule. Been there. Laughed in his face.

    I do love Valentine’s Day, though. I’ve NEVER actually had a valentine, but there is always wine and chocolate everywhere! Will we be seeing a new CCV valentines recipe in the upcoming days? I hope so!

  19. Oh you’re a choc covered hottie :) I love the beach pic!

    Girl Ive had way too many nightmare man stories that are beyond the comment field :) like it would make your head spin LOL but happily married for 9 yrs so it all worked out!

  20. Kelly says:

    Lol, that’s an AWESOME story. I hope you guys got back together after finals haha

  21. You know — I read that people actually prefer to spend Valentine’s Day with their pets:

    Fitting since most guys are dogs anyway.
    OMG, i am going to get into SO much trouble for saying that!

    love your break-up story!

    the cranky one

  22. How about the loser who emailed my brother in Australia to be able to ask me out- and then two weeks later, after zero dates decided to write me a message on FB telling me it wasn’t going to work.. needless to say the fool was made fun of! hahah

  23. Kristie says:

    When I was in middle school at my first boy-girl party, one of the boys came up to me and asked me if I would go out with his *friend*. I said that if his friend wanted to go out with me, he could ask me himself (whew I was sassy even then ;)). Then his friend said – and I am not exaggerating – “Just say you’ll go out with him and then you can dump him tomorrow. He just really wants a girlfriend.” Uh, no? That made it worse haha!

  24. Serena says:

    Boys are so /nice/ aren’t they? D:

  25. Tyler says:

    this is a fun conversation. i’m really enjoying reading the comments!

    true story: in college, the boy i was dating called me to break it off saying that i had too much hair on my upper lip and he didn’t want to kiss me anymore. the only response i could muster was “are you serious?!” he was. then my roommates and i had a good laugh! i’m pretty critical about my physical appearance, and i’m 100% sure that i do not have a visible mustache. he was a senior (i was a junior), and i’m pretty sure he just wanted to sleep around before graduation. i still can’t figure out why he could come up with a better breakup line!

  26. Heather says:

    Those silly high school boys!

  27. Jennifer says:

    Ugh boys, who needs them? Oh wait, we do! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
    Katie, you are so pretty!

  28. Hela says:

    omg, boys!!! they r all d same… except d ones u marry 😉 huh. hope there´s a prince charmin comin round d corner at my place, 2 😀
    n those guys who tell stories bout u (like ur prude or whatever), just bc u r NOT into them n they simply dont get it… or they tell evry1 dat THEY turned U down bc u didnt want 2 make out wid them… (boys n their egos!)
    prince charmin, if u can here me: im waitin!!

  29. jcd says:

    Your break-up sounds particularly harsh and ridiculous. Boys don’t make sense. No break-up stories here; I married the only boyfriend I ever had.

    I do have a bad story though, just for fun. The first time I went to my boyfriend’s house, his older sister’s friend (male, of course) called me a blow up doll. Gee, thanks. It’s no wonder my sister-in-law and I don’t get along. (That was 10 years ago.)

    We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day but 14 Febraury is the birthday of one of our cats – so we will celebrate that with new cat toys (IKEA finger puppets), lots of cat play time, and some kitty cupcakes (for my husband and I, not the cats).

    I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, however you choose to spend it.

  30. Erin says:

    Boy bashing! I love this. Even though I married my high school sweetheart, there were some jerks before him definitely.

  31. Carbzilla says:

    You’re so adorable!

    I think I’ve blocked most of mine out but there were plenty – I was too much for most boys in high school, and I didn’t meet Mr. Carbzilla until I was 32 so there were a lot of losers in between. Worst was when I was out of town at his house, and he broke up with me on a Friday night and my plane didn’t leave till Sunday. I sat at the airport for 4 hours on Saturday and finally told them I’d had a death in the family and HAD to get home.

    I’m married and I still bash boys – is that bad?


  32. Ha ha! My worst break-up story was with the guy I dated before my husband. We dated for a little over a year, but once we graduated from college, I realized that he wasn’t someone I could imagine spending the rest of my life with anymore– graduation is one of those big life events where all those realizations come out, you know? :)

    So, I very spontaneously told him one night that I didn’t think it was going to work anymore. I thought we were kind of on the same page, since I had been thinking about it in my head for a few weeks… but apparently I was WRONG! He freaked out! He started leaving flowers on my car while I was at work, leaving me notes in my mailbox… very stalker-ish.

    Then a couple weeks later, he decided to try to win me back– by sleeping on my front porch! Little did he know, I was inside my house watching a movie with a guy friend, and I was too scared to let him leave me alone with a creepy ex-boyfriend sleeping on my front porch! So he stayed and we ended up staying up all night talking until it was the next morning! Now that guy is my husband. :) So I guess I owe my ex a big thank you! Ha ha.

  33. Kiersten says:

    Wow, that’s quite a breakup line Katie. He sounds like a loser! But that’s high school relationships for ya.

    I don’t have any good break-up stories, but I have a…sort of break up story? When I was in 8th grade I was friends with this boy and we both ending up liking eachother. We went to the fair during the summer, which was kind of like our first “date.” We had fun hanging out and everything was cool. When we were leaving the fair I tried to hold his hand and he was fine for like 5 minutes. Then we saw a group of his friends and he ripped his hand out of mine and got all nervous. The next day he called me up and told me things were moving too fast for him and we couldn’t “go out” anymore.

    I didn’t even care. I didn’t know we were “going out” to begin with! lol The whole situation was so stupid.

  34. psychoj1 says:

    Worst break up story? Haven’t broken up ever :)

    I’ll be your valentine, haha! Actually, I’m taken 😉

    love ya!
    <3 jess

  35. Jessie says:

    You gotta love the “We need to talk” line. I think everyone uses it!

  36. Madeline says:

    Is it possible to take the wine, leave the boyfriends? Because that would be a great Valentine’s Day!

    I love these worst breakup stories, and that everyone ends up laughing about them later on. My senior year of college, my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years and I broke up but were “going to get back together soon” (his words), until I found out that he was hooking up with my friend/former roommate. I had been sitting around moping for weeks and not going out to parties with my friends because I wanted to show him how much I wanted him back, and he had been lying to me the whole time! I spent the next month making up for lost time with my sorority sisters, ended up meeting the guy I’ve been dating now for over a year, and had an amazing time finishing college. I even graduated with all honors and phi beta kappa while he got…nothing! He’s still with my former “friend,” but I’ll never forget the email he sent me saying that he feels bad when he heard about how much fun I was having without him. Sorry I didn’t stay home pining for you? Boys are so dumb!

  37. caronae says:

    I just might be joining you in the boy bashing this year :)

  38. CaSaundra says:

    I’ve had a few Valentine’s Days where I have participated in boy bashing, but this year I have the most wonderful Mr. ever–I couldn’t bash him if I tried. And I loooove that line “get back together after the finals”…definitely makes me laugh. Men are so clueless!

  39. Gena says:

    Breaking up with a guy who burst into tears. After only four dates. That was a rough one.

  40. Quix says:

    I had an on and off bad relationship thing during the end of high school/beginning of college with this guy who treated me like shit (lying, cheating, stealing, the works). When I finally decided I was done with him and we had been broken up for a while he calls me up and proposes over the phone. LOL! I mean, come on, don’t you have to at least be dating first? …sigh.

    Thankfully, I’m with a lovely man now who has been my best buddy and lover for 10 years. Screw mean boys!