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The future Mrs. Robert Pattison?

Dear Kristin Stewart,

Until you learn how to act (and smile!), I am replacing you as the object of Edward’s affection. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,

CCK

fallkabocha

Sadly, I’m afraid my chances with Edward are shot, due to the inordinate amount of garlic consumed in last night’s Stir Fry Salad.

It was worth it, though! Above, Stir Fry Salad (with zucchini, bok choy, broccoli, mushrooms, okra, napa, shoyu, and garlic)

Taylor Lautner, you like garlic, right? 😉

Question of the Day:

Have you read the Twilight books?  I finally gave in and read them to see what all the fuss was about.  They were okay; compelling, but not extremely well-written.  Certainly no Tess of the d’Urbervilles (my favorite book of all time).

Published on September 17, 2009

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56 Comments

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  1. Kate says

    I did read the Twilight series and basically thought that Stephanie Meyers was a total hack writer. While I finished the series out of morbid curiosity the final book had me rolling my eyes an awful lot.

    I have my own Edward in my Transylvanian. I actually wore garlic around my neck on our second date!

  2. Cecilia says

    LOL at the photoshoped pic – you need to put on a more serious face though 😀

    I agree, Harry Potter is wayyy better than Twilights …

  3. Sarah W. says

    I had to read Twilight just to see what the fuss was about. Definately compelling and I read all 4 books during my beach vacation – good beach reads! I’m loving the movies too – twilight was true to the book I thought which is not what I can say for other book-movie deals.

    Not bad for pure entertainment 🙂 i love vampire stuff – loving The Vampire Diaries on the cw too

  4. jcd says

    I read the first Twilight book. Rather, I forced myself to finish the book because I couldn’t stand reading it. I don’t understand the hype one bit. And I also think the books and the surrounding fanfare/idolosation is neither good or appropriate for teenage girls. Maybe I’m just getting old? (But I’m not the only person I know who thinks that way.)

    I haven’t read ‘Tess of the d’Urbervilles’ but I’ll look for it at the library next time I’m there.

    One of my all-time favourite books, besides Harry Potter, DaVinci Code, and a handful of others, is Anne of Green Gables. I read it as a child and still re-read it over and over again between other books.

  5. Diana (Soap & Chocolate) says

    I have read the Twilight series, but I think the only way to describe it would be “awesomely bad” (a la VH1, haha). Like, of course I couldn’t put it down, but I can’t say I thought it wasn’t almost unbearably cheesey. I appreciate it for what it’s worth: page-turning entertainment!

    I’m also ashamed to admit that I find RPattz pretty hot. Even with that ridiculous Edward Cullen scowl.

    I do remember Tess of the d’Urbervilles, though–that was a good one! Oh and so interesting to learn that you lived in Tokyo 4 years! I detected some Japanese influence in your blog posts, of course, but I’m so curious to know what brought you to Japan in the first place! I’ve lived there for short periods of time over the years that my parents have spent there, but alas, they’re retiring to the US at the end of 2009. A blessing and a curse! 🙂

  6. Bianca- Vegan Crunk says

    OMG! I LOVE TWILIGHT! I’m on Eclipse right now, and I’m so obsessed. I have the world’s biggest 14-year-old crush on Edward (and I don’t mean Robert Pattinson…the Edward in my head is way hotter). The movie was kinda lame though…I agree that Kristin Stewart can’t really act. But I think the books are well-written. Harry Potter is still the best. But the Twilight saga gets second place.

  7. The voracious Vegan says

    There is NO such thing as too much garlic! YUM!

    Not only am I a voracious vegan, I am also a voracious reader. I read about 2 or 3 books a week, I just can’t get enough. So, I picked up the first Twilight book with an open mind…..and I was appalled. I can’t believe that drivel is so popular. It is poorly written, unimaginative and just wretched. Ughghghg…..*shudder*

  8. livelaughloveandrun says

    Hahah.. that picture is great!! I liked the Twilight books, but totally agree that the HP books are MUCH better!

  9. Devan Newman says

    i have not read the twilight books.. but i think I want to now… just because I have heard way to much hype about them! haha
    I also want to read LA Candy (by lauren conrad, from the hills).. im tres addicted.

    garlic is the best ingredient. ever.
    as well as lemon zest.

    …and chocolate.
    xo

  10. Melanie says

    I actually LOVE Twilight! Thanks for the recommendation for Tess of the d’Urbervilles – I just downloaded a free copy on my Kindle!!

    Yummy food – I love garlic too 🙂

  11. Andrea says

    I have to agree that the Twilight books aren’t exactly well written – cue scene with Edward’s sparkly skin! That said, I couldn’t help loving them and read all four in record time. I can’t WAIT to see Taylor Lautner in the second installment of the movies!

    I love your blog! I read it every day and felt like I couldn’t read this post without leaving a comment. 🙂

  12. tray says

    twilight series iS OKAY not amazing ( i live for pride and prejudice. and persuasion. okay jane austen. and jane eyre) but i agree with you on the kristin stewart front! SMILE!

  13. Christina says

    I do like the Twilight books. I recommend reading Stephenie Meyer’s “adult” novel, The Host, though. It starts out slow but ended up being REALLY good! I like it better than Twilight.

  14. lora says

    ser katie, your posts almost make pee my pants rom laughter (TMI?) whateves. you are too funny and omg Edward and Harry can totally both come after me…wouldn’t that be fun? lol

  15. teenagedvegan says

    I refuse to read those books! I watched the film and liked it, but what has put me off is all the girls my age who are obsessed with the book, and mr.E. cullen.
    ‘OMGZZZ Edward marry me!!!!111!!11’
    🙂

  16. Alison says

    I’m obsessed w/Twilight. I don’t think they’re very well written, but the story just drew me in. I also loved the movie, even though it had plenty of flaws. I like Kristin Stewart – although I wish she didn’t use f*** in every sentence in every interview – it’s annoying and immature. Otherwise, I like that she’s shy and awkward – more real than many of the over-poised 19 year olds in Hollywood.

  17. Jenny R. says

    LOL you’re 10 million times prettier than Kristen Stewart!!…blah she looks so…mean and unhappy all the time. I haven’t read any of those books or seen the movie…I’m a stickler for the well-written stuff (I feel so snobby now haha) 😛

  18. veganhomemade says

    I personally am few up with the vampire hysteria and am waiting for it to go away. Of course, I’ll probably do what I did with Harry Potter – wait till everyone else is over it then read the whole series in one summer!

  19. Maria says

    LOL, that has to be one of your photoshopped work, Katie!

    I read Twilight to see what all the fuss was about, and agree that it’s ok-good–in between ok and good. It wasn’t well written, like you said, but it was a cute story. I actually loved her other book, The Host, a lot better. Really good read, in my opinion 🙂

  20. Amanda says

    I’m stuck on “can a vampire be vegan”? Seriously, if he only drank blood donations? See the things I must preoccupy myself with when I really should be working?? lol! I broke down earlier this year and started to read Twilight. They are entertaining but I just really don’t like Bella..she has no admirable qualities and I found it hard to relate to her. Her main skills: clumsiness, her looks, and she *smells* good..give me an Elizabeth Bennett or other Jane Austen character any day!!

  21. Jennifer says

    Hated Twilight. That said, I could not put it down without finishing it. There’s a big difference between addictive and quality. I thought that it was extremely degrading to women and for that reason alone should not be marketed to teenage girls of all people. Harry Potter rocks – I <3 Hermione and Ginny who are great female characters (though Hermione was useless in the 6th movie!). I'm reading Tess of the d'Ubervilles this semester – I can't wait!

  22. Shelby says

    Kristen Stewart…don’t even get me started. She is plain, awkward, and has an AWFUL haircut right now. Bleh. I just think she is very boring and grumpy.

    I love the Twilight books but I’m not obsessed. I agree they aren’t the most well-written books out there but the story was excellent. I much prefer The Hunger Games. It’s a trilogy and the 2nd one just came out. You must read them, so good!

  23. Jenny says

    K-stewart does not deserve that hunk o’ vamp. Who, by the way, is my hubs.. not since I love you and your chocolate coveredness I suppose I can share 🙂

  24. Heather Eats Almond Butter says

    I think you and Robert look great together, and why doesn’t Kristin ever smile?!

    I read the books. Loved Twilight, but the others didn’t do it for me quite like that one.

    Mmmm, kabocha. 🙂

  25. lola says

    Katie i agree with you.. the story in the books might be nice and appealing, but the books are so poorly written!! They can’t hold a candle too Anne Rice books (my favorite books about vampires ever!)

  26. Michelle says

    Not to offend any Twilight die-hards out there, but Twilight is way overrated in my opinion. However, I am one of those huge X-files, Harry Potter geeks, so the whole vampire thing really isn’t my cup of tea. To be fair, I know plenty of Harry Haters, so there are lovers and haters to everything I guess 🙂 (But come on? Really? Vampire Love? Oh please, there is a way better world of UFO’s, government conspiracies, and aliens out there in the re-run section of town…”I want to believe!!!”)

  27. Kate G. says

    bahaha i love that edward + CCV pic, that is great!

    I definitely read the Twilight books and loooooved them, BUT i am a die-hard HARRY POTTER fan 🙂

    oh and i was in love with robert pattinson when he was in harry potter BEFORE the twilight obsession.

    i haven’t actually gotten into reading anything since i read twilight actually… any suggestions??

  28. Jules says

    I read Twilight, and at first I liked the books, but I just got really annoyed at the last one. You’re right, they definitely can’t hold a candle to Harry Potter! I have a huge crush on him 🙂 Yeah, yeah, I know he’s not real…unfortunately for me.

  29. dewtakeflight says

    She is absolutely terrible! I’ve never seen a worse actress…and I must remain loyal to Harry Potter 🙂

    <3
    Talia

  30. Emily says

    Haha, love your photoshop work, Katie! I love garlic, too, so I’m sure I wouldn’t ever be friends with a vampire. 🙂

    I haven’t read any of the Twilight books, though I recently saw the Harry Potter movies for the first time (I know, I know…I’m a little behind). I really liked them!

  31. Jess says

    I don’t mean to be insulting but I find it absurd when people use Harry Potter as an example of good writing. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t even hold a candle to most great children’s books, let alone good writing in general. I’ve been known to be a bit of a lit snob, though, and I get a little angry that so many good writers get ignored for more “commercial” fare.

    I haven’t actually looked at the Twilight books yet but I doubt I’d like the writing, and I didn’t like the movie so I don’t really feel inclined. Sorry to be such a downer 🙁

  32. Brittany says

    Oh my gosh, somehow I miss the days of yore, when my sister and I would watch cartoon network and Mr. Rogers while visiting our relatives in Ah-meh-ri-ka over the summer. I was just thinking about Reading Rainbow the other day!

  33. Lisa C. says

    I read the first one because my 13-year old niece was coming to visit and she’s Twilight -happy.

    … and I’m close enough to Forks that we would absolutely be making a day trip.

    Meyer knows her audience, writes to them (as she should), and has created compelling characters in an interesting world. She’s a smart woman and I have to respect her for how she’s handling everything.

    That said, the whole teenage angst thing never was my cup o’ tea, so most of Twilight was pretty much a slog for me (I was much more interested in the other characters and their interactions than B&E).

    But I did have a fun time in Forks. Those folks have rolled out the red carpet for the Twilight fans.

    And I’m sorry, CCK, I can’t see the words “Tess of the d’Urbervilles” without thinking of Monty Python.

    -Lisa

  34. Marianne says

    I am probably the only person who a) hasn’t read the books and has no desire to, and b) doesn’t find that Robert guy hot AT ALL.

  35. CaSaundra says

    I actually am not a fan of either Harry Potter or Twilight–not my genre of choice unfortunately–but I still think you photoshop pic is adorable! You would make a nice couple! 🙂

  36. Vegetation says

    I’m undecided about whether she the actress drives me nuts or whether it’s the fact that her character annoyed the heck out of me in the book!! You make a much better Mrs Edward!!

  37. Simply T says

    Yum. I love me some garlic too – any recipe that calls for garlic, I tend to add 3-4 additional cloves.

    I also love me some Twilight boys too! So funny that you pasted your head in the place of Kristen Stewart’s grumblepants emoface. Those are both words. Trust me.

    I have to keep my talk about the Twilight boys to a minimum, because apparently it offends my boyfriend! Haha, I put up a facebook status update after watching an oldschool episode of the twilight zone, “I wish I lived in the Twilight Zone…. no, not the one from TV. My version of the Twilight Zone is where I get to sleep between Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson on a nightly basis.” and he was all sad and hurt that I want to sleep between a vampire and a werewolf 🙂

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