I’ve been quietly dating someone for the past two months. Since this is a recipe blog (and for privacy), I wasn’t sure if I should even mention it on the site. However, his name might come up in the commentary or comment section, so I tried to casually introduce him a few posts back. (That turned out to be an awkward way to bring it up.)
I’m not really planning to elaborate much, unlike with my last relationship.
When I look back on those posts from a few years ago, I cringe with embarrassment at how I went on and on (and on) about “Sports Store Hottie.” (Yes, I really did nickname him Sports Store Hottie for the blog. What was I, twelve??)
I know one question will come up, though: Is he a vegan? No, not at all. And yes there are some challenges when you’re a vegan dating a non-vegan. But dining out isn’t one of them; at least not in this case. It’s easy to find things we both like at restaurants such as Pei Wei, Clay Pit, or Penne Pomodoro. Last night we made it really easy and just went to Whole Foods for dinner! Classy.
I started out with the veggie spring rolls. Their peanut sauce is my favorite part of the dish, and I could slurp it through a straw. Too bad that wouldn’t be ladylike.
Ladyike is overrated.
Above, a bunch of other random foods from the hot bar. There’s quinoa hiding somewhere under the peppers.
No photos of the boy’s dinner: I wasn’t about to snap photos of his meal; I felt self-conscious enough taking pictures of mine! Also, his food was very un-vegetarian. And no, I don’t have any secret plans to turn him into a vegan. I do, however, have some not-so-secret plans to get him to at least try tofu.
Unfortunately he already knows the secret in my Chocolate Bar Pie.
After dinner, we went over to the mall to catch a movie, but everything of interest was either sold out, had already started, or wouldn’t start until much later. So we settled (settled?) for ice cream instead. Paciugos Gelateria (which has 40 locations across the US) offers at least two dairy-free flavors every day. Yesterday’s flavors were Mixed Berry and Chocolate Banana.
Obviously I went with the Mixed Berry. (Right…)
Question of the Day:
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone whose eating habits were completely different from yours?
I was already a vegetarian when I met my first boyfriend, so I’ve actually never been in a relationship where we’ve seen completely eye-to-eye in terms of eating. However, I don’t think it’s right for one person in a relationship to expect the other to change or compromise his or her ethics. If a guy respects you, he’ll respect your right to hold different beliefs. And it’s a two-way street.
*I’m not counting my middle-school “relationships.” Sorry, but is it really a relationship when your mom drives you both to the movies and his dad sits two rows behind you and then takes you home? 😉
Link of the Day:
Lauren says
It’s nice to get a peek into your life, as uncomfortable as it can be for you. It makes you more approachable, in my opinion. I’ve definitely been out with guys who ate differently than myself, and it can be incredibly awkward, especially if they are insensitive. It’s nice to find someone that accepts you and doesn’t judge you. Thanks for posting this Katie!
Samantha says
Good morning! Nice post.
So I have never dated another vegan. Not even another vegetarian. I lived with a non-vegan/non-vegetarian for 10 years. Our diet differences were only a problem when he made it one. And I always reminded him I was vegan when he met me. No one else in my family is vegan and I don’t feed my pets vegan so obviously I am comfortable around animal products regardless of my opinions on some of them.
I will admit I had some non-negotiables: no live crabs, etc. that would be dropped in boiling water, no veal, etc. And I paid attention to the “source” of the animal products, free-range etc.
Have fun and I hope he is a great guy!
Samantha says
And PS. Respect is the issue. I don’t care if it is family, friends or an intimate relationship. I have minimal patience for diet comments since I keep mine to myself.
Maddie says
YES! I wasn’t a vegan or vegetarian when I met my boyfriend (we’ve now been dating two and a half years), but over the last six months or so I’ve really been trying to slowly ween myself into becoming vegetarian (I did it once before for an extended period and then had to go back to meat). I find it’s been very difficult for him to accept, and that he doesn’t really understand my reasons. However, I simply prepare my own food when I’m at his house, or choose a restaurant with plenty of vegetarian options when we’re out.
Now that I’ve written this I realise it pales largely in comparison to your situation, and that it’s not even really relevant to your question at all…..
In any case, that’s my situation haha. Loving your recipes, have been passing on your blog to lots of my friends!
tiffany says
I have that kinda situation too…I was a vegetarian for 7 years but switched back to include meat…now that i want to go back to vegetarian or vegan my bf really doesn’t want me to. I want to switch back because meat and dairy actually make me ill, but he’s the kinda guy who eats a huge steak and i have to force him to eat veggies every night so it’s quite a pain sometimes.
When i was a vegetarian i had a bf who was really good about it (i wasnt one who would complain about them eating meat infront of me and i think that helped lol) his mom would actually make nice vegetarian meals for me when i was over..it was really nice of them.
Anna says
If the meat and dairy is making you sick it may be the quality of them and/or digestion track issues. You may want to look into making sure your gut flora is balanced-especially if you’ve ever used antibiotics or other medications. The Weston A. Price Foundation has some good information on diet. The problems you are experiencing with the animal products may just be a symptom of something else that will still be around even if you eliminate the meat and dairy.
tiffany says
oh it is a symptom of something else but it helps to eliminate them since my issue will never go away. It’s not just animal products that affect me either, but it does kinda force me to eat a rather healthy diet which is a plus lol.
Anna says
Ah. I see. I don’t know your condition, but I wish you well and hope that new helpful information will come your way! You never know what may be discovered or be of some assistance:)
Anna Banana says
I’ve dated a lot of guys who were darn sure they wanted to eat MEAT at every meal, almost exclusively. I’m not even a vegetarian, although I do cook quite a lot of vegan and vegetarian food because I like the idea of reducing my environmental footprint. I am finishing up veterinary school (less than a year left to go!) so I am very passionate about animals and I have visited many farms and a few slaughterhouses. It was incredibly important for me to know everything that the animals go through before I buy them in the grocery store. This really enabled me to make a diet switch to something that is primarily vegetarian because I think pretty hard about the meat I cook.
To that end, I can’t make everyone try the things I cook with tofu. But my policy for friends, family, and significant others that if they refuse to at least try it when I make them dinner, it’s the last time I will do so. Nobody says they have to like it, but it’s really closed-minded to hate things on principle. Often, they are surprised. It’s also nice to see a little about your personal life other than just your diet. We like you for more than your recipes!
Lynne T. says
That is very interesting. Eat the tofu or this is the last time I will make dinner for you? Does placing ultimatums within intimate relationships make you an open minded person? Do you eat meat if someone else makes food for you, even if that person does not care about their environmental foot print or the plight of animals in slaughterhouses? I am curious, not snarky.
Tanya says
I was a vegetarian when I met my boyfriend. Half a year later, I became a vegan… and at the same time, he became a vegetarian! Without having tried to turn him into one, though. He simply read some of my “vegan magazines” and stuff, but I didn’t even tell him to do that! After reading it, he said, okay, I am also vegan now 😉
(He actually became a vegetarian, almost vegan. I never though he would though! He used to be so found of meat!)
Julie says
Tanya,
That’s pretty close to my story. My boyfriend was omni when I met him (though very supportive of my being veggie) and I was vegetarian. Shortly after we started dating, he made the switch to vegetarianism I made he switch to veganism. Now we’re both vegan. He had dabbled with vegetarianism and veganism before we met but I think eating great, healthy veggie food with his partner really helped him make the decision to ditch meat for good. Ironically, he’s the reason I went vegan, because he showed me an article he found on how egg laying chickens are treated, and I knew I couldn’t support that industry any longer.
sarah says
My husband is a HUGE carnivore. I’m not sure what I am, but I don’t eat meat often at all, and I grew up vegetarian, so had no idea how to even cook it. He’s one of those that doesn’t consider a meal a meal unless it has meat in it. It’s been an adjustment, especially since if I don’t cook for him, he’ll end up eating chicken wings for dinner with no veggies at all. So I’ve had to learn how to handle and prepare meat – out of love for him and his health. I try to make sure he eats organic and that in addition to the meat, he gets a hefty portion of veggies too.
Tiffany says
You just made me realize I should probably do the same for my omnivorous husband. Right now we mostly eat out so we can both eat what we want, but he usually chooses red meat and white rice or bread. I could at least get him to eat healthier and more humanely if I cooked for him. Thanks!
Caralyn @ glutenfreehappytummy says
aw I’m so happy for you:) None of my family, or friends, are vegan either, and I find eating out to be easiest too. Although, whenever we’re all together, they all want me to cook for them because they all follow my blog haha….so yeah. Great post! peanut sauce is my fav too!!
Charlie says
I am a vegetarian going on vegan and I’ve never dated anyone with the same diet as me. I’ve only met two guys who were vegetarian/vegan! And one was gay. Luckily the boyfriends I’ve had as a vegetarian were both very open to the idea of trying vegetarian foods, and were always considerate in choosing veggie-friendly restaurants 🙂
I am always proud to tell people I’m a vegetarian/vegan, and I’ve only had one person have an adverse reaction to it…most people don’t seem to think its weird. Most people either say, “wow, good for you!” or “How do you do it?” The most annoying part is when people ask me things like “Where do you get your protein?” That’s like if I were to ask them “Where do you get your fiber? and your Vitamin ABCDEFGHIJK?”
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
If they’re asking out of curiosity, I spout off a whole long list of “where I get my protein”s ;).
But if they’re asking to be snarky, I do exactly what you mentioned. I ask: Where do you get your 5 servings of veggies a day? Where do you get your Vitamin __?
And pretty much every snarky person who’s ever tried to trick me with the protein question has absolutely no clue how to answer.
So then they just move on to the obvious next snarky question: But trees have feelings too!!
And by then, you just have to laugh. (And silently roll your eyes.)
connie munoz says
yes im married to one, and let me tell you it is so hard to try to cook for someone who hates veggies, i have to cook two separate meals alot, i have gotten him to eat a couple things and the things he does end up liking we eat a couple times a week. alot of veggie chili going on here in our house…He does like beans which does make it easier, he never grew up with vegetables and so in 10 years of marriage, i have gotten him to eat salads now, cabbage and turnips, i make alot of veggie currys also to hide some, i was going to try that new book that is out by “ellen” cook, maybe i can slowly get more dishes into him…
Laura M says
I have dated a meat-eater who didn’t really understand my vegetarian lifestyle, but my boyfriend now is really great about it. He eats fish, and some meat, but loves it when I cook and says it’s so delicious he doesn’t mind that it’s always vegetarian! (And I totally agree that Whole Foods is a great date!)
Michelle says
I became vegetarian over 2 years ago, husband wasn’t…so for 11 months he ate meat, I didn’t, then it was him that said 11the months later let’s go Vegan! Huh? Lol we’ve been Vegan ever since
Michelle says
Btw I love that sauce from whole foods too!!! Yum
Annilee says
yes! my husband! I’ve always had digestive issues, and he’s been with me since they started! He comes from a family of people who have stomachs of steel and can eat anything anytime!
I’ve since pinpointed my issues to gluten/dairy/sugar. In no way do I expect him to change his eating habits – but I do expect a certain amount of understanding when he suggests we all go for fast food quickly… sorry dear! He can, but that defeats the purpose of it being “fast” when we need to go to two places.
Anyway – At least I’ve been able to educate our boys about some things… in society, we generally eat too much wheat, meat, dairy and definitely sugar – so as least I can teach them a bit about it at an early age. Our one son can’t tolerate dairy/eggs either – hence why I LOVE your blog!!
I do cook everyone the same meal for dinners, things like pizza night require a bit more work, but small price to pay!
Anyway – short answer to your question is “yes” and we’re happily married!
Taylor says
I’m vegan and my fiancé is not. Luckily for me he will eat just about anything and he claims all of my food is amazing. Ha! So, he gladly eats tofu, tempeh, veggies, green smoothies, and all of my (well, your) healthy vegan desserts! I will make him eggs or turkey sandwiches occasionally but I don’t ever cook meat for him. If he wants to have chicken or turkey burgers for dinner he will make them and I don’t mind. I know he will never go vegan but that is okay with me as long as he is happy with the meals I make 🙂
Big Bread says
I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but this is the first time I felt compelled to comment! I’ve only been vegan since January, but I’ve been with my partner for three years and when we first met (because we were living in a country with a really meat heavy local diet) I ate A LOT of meat (even though I was ordinarily vegetarian- meat eating overseas was just out of convenience really). I think me going vegan shocked him, but we get on just fine with him being a meat eater and me being vegan.
I think the key is compromise: sometimes we go to vegan places, sometimes we go to “ordinary” places (and I’m not shy about ordering off menu to get something vegan). Our main issue is that he prefers to eat halal meat and I don’t think it’s necessarily humanely slaughtered- so he tends to stick to chicken or fish. It’s not ideal, but it’s as much his right to eat meat as it is mine to be vegan.
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
I like your idea about compromise. We haven’t eaten out super-frequently (I’ve only been dating him since April), but I can only imagine we’ll do that as well. I can easily find something on many menus nowadays (or call ahead if I need to). And if I take him to a vegan place, he in turn can easily order something “not scary” like a salad and a pb&j, or a pasta dish.
Miriam says
Dating a non vegetarian was super fine until we moved in together. Then we cooked together most of the time, but I made the grocery list and obviously wasn’t going to cook meat. His job got very demanding and I was cooking most of the time and he started complaining about not having meat for dinner. I tried to create meals where he could make some chicken to go with it but he only took me up on it once.
It definitely became a tense spot in our relationship until we got married and I offered to change my name only if he stopped eating meat when we are together. People thought this was crazy but so far its been 9 months and going great!
Jules says
When I started dating my first boyfriend, we both ate meat. A few months into our relationship, he read a book on veganism and decided to at least go vegetarian. One year later, after having lived with him for a bit, I decided to try it myself (heck, I was practically vegetarian myself for all the times we ate together at home, just to see if I could do it.
Five years later, we’re a married vegetarian couple. 🙂
Katie says
I’m a vegan and my boyfriend is a meateater. We have been living together for about 3 months and have been dating for alot longer. There have been no problems at all with our differences. To be honest he eats out almost every night (drive through, yuck) and I always cook. But he has tried at least one bite of everything I eat and has found out he loves tofu! And on his days off if he decides to cook be makes something vegan so I can eat it too =) and then he brags about his vegan food to other people because he gets so proud of himself. I could see him becoming vegan or vegetarian one day because he is extremely interested in it, he even reads my vegnews magazine!
But in the past I have had problems with men being completely disrespectful of my diet.
Marla says
I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian and have been for about 20 years. When I met my husband (16 years ago!), who is not vegetarian, he told me that he kept a vegetarian home and just ate meat out. That worked for me! He’s occasionally had some meat in our house, but he’s never made it with me around and/or never bugged me about it.
Skayea says
I won’t eat any soy products unless their fermented for reasons that the Weston Price foundation details. As attractive as the vegatarian/vegan lifestyle is, that choice represents even fewer choices without the inclusion of soy or wheat products. I wish people would investigate the potential impact upon their health before including these items in their diet and concluding that they are living the healthiest lifestyle possible. http://www.westonaprice.org/soy-alert
Sheree says
Skayea, there is another side to the soy story, in case you’re interested:
http://zenhabits.net/soy/
Erica @ Cult of Kale says
Great source Sheree! ^_^
Rachele says
Sheree, thank you for posting this link. I have heard some of these health statements, both negative and positive, and have been mystified. How could soy be both healthy and unhealthy. Either it is or it isn’t. The link you provided, not only cleared things up concisely and objectively, but also provided many more links to other sources. Thank you!!
veganlinda says
I hope you’ve looked deeply in to Weston A Price Foundation. I’ve read his book (he’s dead now, of course and he was a dentist, not a nutritionist and his travels and work was at a time when we knew very little about nutrition so he made huge assumptions) and they have really taken his work and turned it on its ear. I bet he would be rolling over in his grave to see that instead of promoting whole foods they are attacking soy and people who follow a veg diet. Most of the people working for WAPF have close ties to the animal farming/meat industries.http://www.vegsource.com/news/2009/11/reflections-on-the-weston-a-price-foundation.html
Gabrielle says
I agree with the first comment – no need to overshare (which you obviously never will), but I do like the little glimpses into your life. You’re essentially a celebrity, so hearing life details from the horses mouth makes your blog that much more fun to visit.
You have such a mature (in my opinion – though I’m hardly mature) view on relationships and I think that idea that you shouldn’t expect someone to change their beliefs can really apply to more than just food.
I also just wanted to say – how awesome is it that you get such detailed comments!? Looking above, people really care about you and your opinions! Must feel good.
Gelato looks mouth-wateringly good.
-Gabrielle
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Thanks, Gabrielle! I completely agree about the comments, and I think it’s one of my favorite parts of blogging. It’s like having hundreds of pen pals :).
I know some people don’t even read their comments. They’re missing out!
Bre says
When I met my husband, we instantly felt connected because we were both vegetarian. Our mutual interests went far beyond just vegetarianism, but that is what our first connection was. I went vegan awhile back, and he was pretty hesitant, but him and our son jumped on the bandwagon a few months ago and both of them enjoy eating more than they ever have. I’m so glad that he decided to eat vegan with me, because it was getting hard to cook or go out for everyone. I don’t know how people with different diets do it, diet is so important for me that I don’t think I would have ever considered dating him if he did eat meat. That might seem superficial, but it’s just that important to me to be with someone who has the same values (specifically compassion) for me.
Ally says
First of all, I’m so happy that you are dating someone that, from what I can tell, seems like a great guy! Although I have never met you in person, I can tell that you are a GREAT CATCH and you deserve someone extra special! 🙂
On another note, while I am a vegan, my husband is 100% a carnivore! It bothered him a little bit at first, especially when we would be invited to go over to other people’s houses for dinner…but after a couple of years he has gotten used to it. Originally, I think that he just wanted me to be “normal” and not to impose on our friends when we got together for potlucks or parties. But now that he is used to it (as well as all of our friends!), everything is smooth sailing!
Thanks for sharing this post…although I know it can be awkward for you, I love hearing more about your life! (in a totally non-creepy way…hahaha!)
Lori says
I’ve exclusively dated non-vegetarians in the past (not that that was part of my criteria), but I’ve also evolved since then, or de-volved as it may be. I’ve been raw vegan (80/10/10) since April and I am so on board with this lifestyle thus far. I also am 100% dedicated to my vegan beliefs, because everything is pointing me in that direction. Everything we read eventually leads back to veganism, whether it is about the environment, animal cruelty, health.. being with a non-veg would just be an argument all the time, especially because I’d inevitably care about his health and want him to be around for a while. Anyway, that stuff said, I’d start with a pescatarian or something, because that shows that there’s some concern there 🙂
Sarah says
My husband and I got married just a few months before I started eating vegetarian. He made jokes that it “wasn’t what he signed up for”, haha. He LOVES meat. He expects to have it at every meal! So I help accommodate. If I make enchiladas, half have chicken. If I make pasta, there’s a secondary meat sauce. If we have burgers, I ask if he’ll grill me up a black bean burger. 🙂
He’s a HILARIOUS guy, so he’ll poke fun at me a lot–calls mushrooms “fungus” and tofu “vegetarian lard” (Don’t tell the boy THAT before asking him to try it! lol?). I think he comes up with great jokes about vegetarianism, and I laugh a lot (how could I not? Once he countered my proposition that bread could be the main course of a meal with “No! The Bible says it cannot!” LOL!). But he’s also very, very sweet about it and will always ask if there’s a restaurant he wants to try, if there’s something there I can eat. Once, when he really, really wanted to go to his favorite burger place (which only has three menu items: burgers, fries, drinks) he drove me around for 30 minutes first looking for a deli where I could pick up a veggie sandwich. Awww 🙂
I don’t think it is too big of a challenge that my husband isn’t vegetarian, but I think the biggest challenge is that I have big taste for a lot of “out there” foods like tofu, and he’s not into being experimental. He’s very picky and likes everything to be a certain way. Thankfully he shows me so often through his actions that even though he doesn’t agree, he’s very supportive of me! What a guy 😉
I love this post, Katie–I am sure the boy respects that you aren’t trying to change his eating habits! My husband has tried a few things he initially didn’t want to, simply because he respected me for not trying to brainwash him. 🙂 So, good luck on the tofu!! 😀
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
LOL maybe he’d actually like it better if I called it vegetarian lard!
Your husband sounds fun! And I always think it’s best to be able to laugh and be lighthearted about vegetarianism, even if someone really IS trying to be mean-spirited in their teasing. If you’re mean-spirited back, you’re certainly not helping them to see your point of view. Plus, it’s just way more fun, when someone says, “I’m going to trick you into eating meat someday” to reply, “Not if I trick you into eating tofu first!”
Elizabeth says
loooove veggie spring rolls I make my own!
http://instagr.am/p/MOwtiJyk5Y/
***tons of people were asking how I do my quick 30 min soft spring rolls, so here was lunch 🙂
•get your rice paper and rice noodles ready
•boil a wok of water, noodles will take just a few mins, pull them out and set aside
•turn off stove
•use a peeler (I have an all in one) to make thin vegs, use anything in your fridge, I had cucs, celery leaves, red pepper, zucch, carrots, etc etc, have a friend help
•mix together some peanut sauce, hoisin, and a dash of low so soy, you can homemake all your sauces the day before
•had some Kosher mock crab (white fish that is made to look like crab) on hand today so I mixed some Veganaise and sriracha sauce with it
•dip rice paper into the warm water for 5 seconds then throw it on a lightly wet plate, then toss some noodles and then all your vegs, etc and fold one side over, then sides, then top, it is sticky so its really easy to do
•keep in mind: rolled messy or toooo big? who cares! unless your doing a photo shoot it will be in your tummy soon!
•in my pic the red tinted ones are mock and the other side is just plain veggie for my hubby
•tofu, stir fry meats, Thai basil…..the world of flavor and food combos is endless!!!!!
•have fun and please let me know if you do a fruit one…..the dip could be a Almond milk or Greek Yougurt!!!!
Danielle says
My husband has been vegetarian most of his life, and I’ve only been a vegetarian since the beginning of this year, and now we’re slowly moving towards veganism. He was always OK with my diet, and never tried to change it. I stopped cooking with meat right before we moved in together mostly for convenience and cost savings, and would only eat meat when I ordered out. After a few years, I began to lose my appetite for meat and change my mind about the moral and environmental issues.
Tracy says
I eat gluten free out of necessity and mostly vegetarian by choice, but I’ve never dated anyone who had a special diet or food restrictions. It’s never been a problem- I can cook gluten free or add the meat in later if need be. There will always be some items at restaurants we can share and some that we can’t. As long as they’re ok with it, then I’m ok with it. I think educating others without preaching to them is important. But ultimately, of utmost importance in a relationship, is respect and if there is a mutual respect through all aspects of life, then food habits, preferences, or beliefs really don’t matter all that much (in m opinion).
Lisa K @ CanAnybodyHearMe says
Sounds like a fun time 🙂
I have definitely dated guys with much different food interests than my own. The hardest thing is when I date a “meat and potatoes” guy who doesn’t like anything out of the ordinary. I’m not vegan or even vegetarian, but I like eating vegan and vegetarian meals…and I like to eat things from different countries.
It was really difficult constantly cooking typical meat and potatoes foods/going out to american restaurants all the time.
Fortunately, the man I’m with now (and hopefully forever…’cus we have been looking at rings hehe) is a lot like me 🙂 We both like home cooking in many different styles, and we both like trying new things.
Oh, except he doesn’t like Mexican food, which nearly broke my heart. BUT…we still go out for Mexican sometimes because he’s awesome 😉
Alanna says
I’m not vegetarian or vegan, but I’m not really an obligate carnivore and don’t consider meat to be an essential part of a meal. Many days I’m more of an accidental vegetarian, haha. As much as I love the idea of going meat-free, my tummy isn’t too fond of many raw fruits and vegetables (which is sad, because I love the taste!). I do try to consume fewer animal products for health and environmental reasons, though. My boyfriend, on the other hand, LOVES meat, and especially pork. He grew up in the South and is a fan of all sorts of unhealthy fried and fattening foods, and I really don’t like a lot of that stuff. It’s sometimes challenging when he wants to prepare meals for me (which is totally sweet) but makes things so unhealthy and in much larger portions than I would choose for myself. I have a hard time figuring out how to say something without sounding unappreciative of his efforts, and communicating that it’s about the food itself and not him.
I’ve been following this blog for about four months now, and I worried a little bit how he’d react to my interest in healthy/vegan foods. Much to my surprise, for my birthday a few weeks ago he made a little gift bag of healthy (and vegetarian!) cooking items he’d picked out for me from Williams-Sonoma! It doesn’t sound like much, but I loved the fact that he noticed and was supportive of my dietary choices. He’s a keeper, for sure (not that I didn’t already know that). 🙂
Katie, I’m really happy for you and I hope all continues to go well with your new guy! It’s really cool that you feel comfortable bringing him up here, but don’t ever feel obligated or pressured to share if you’d rather keep things to yourself… we love you either way. 🙂
Carmen says
Lol…I do enjoy reading your blog! I am trying to change my eating behavior, but my hubby of 28 yrs likes the way we eat and is resistant to change. I don’t want to cook two meals for one meal, so I need to figure out ways to make both of us happy…without tempting myself with the other food. It’s interesting to look back at our older posts….gives us a whole new perspective, doesn’t it? I’ve actually deleted whole posts! Lol…so I relate! Btw, happy for you and hope he’s the guy and it gets better n better!
Julie says
I suggest making vegan sides (veggies and starches like grains, pasta or potatoes) that you can all eat. Then you can have veggie protein (lentils, beans, tofu, tempeh, etc.) and your hubby can have animal protein. I would recommend having him cook his own animal protein if he’d like it, so you don’t have to deal with it, but that’s really up to you. If you follow that plan it’s not really 2 meals, it’s 1 1/3 meals 🙂
Susie says
The peanut sauce that comes with spring rolls is my favorite part, too. I think it should come with everything… sushi, samosas, veggie tempura, cookies… well, maybe not cookies 😉
My boy was not vegetarian when we met, but I was. We moved in together really quickly (whirlwind romance!), and I had a strict no meat in the house rule (that I still uphold to this day). He was happy with it, though — in his opinion, I could cook non-meat dishes better than he could cook meat. Anyway, fast forward 7 years – I’ve been vegan for the last 5, and he went vegetarian about 4 years ago. Our house is still meat free, and the only cheese allowed in is the kind that tops his pizza from Whole Foods. 🙂
Meredith @ DareYouTo says
Thanks for sharing! Food preferences is definitely something that couples have to work through and be comfortable talking and compromising about, such as choosing restaurants where you can both find something, agreeing on ways to cook a meal (or two at once) at home, and not being pushy about the other’s diet. I’ve been a vegetarian for a while now, and also have a gluten sensitivity that I try to be mindful of, so my options out are sometimes limited. My boyfriend is a proud meat-eater and although he doesn’t eat junk and does eat vegetables, he also eats some sort of foods (bready, fried, etc) that I wouldn’t touch. However, he is always considerate of my needs when choosing places to eat, and that’s all that matters to me. 🙂
Pipsa says
As there seems to be so many vegans present here, I would like to ask you a (dum) question: where do you get enough iron? I eat mostly vegetarian and I have huge problems with getting enough iron (I have been at the doctor’s a couple of times to check my iron level and it has been constantly too low). Is there some way to improve the body’s ability to use the iron in the nutrition? (Sorry for off-topic question!)
Jen says
Pipsa- Dark leafy greens and beans! And lots of ’em!
Bree says
Also make sure you eat some vitamin C with your iron source, it will increase the absorption rate.
Alanna says
And if you drink coffee and tea, wait at least an hour after eating something iron-rich because caffeine interferes with iron absorption. I take a multivitamin with iron and couldn’t understand why my levels were still low until I realized I was taking it with my morning coffee! Now that I take it at night, my levels are back to normal.
Julie says
Try using an iron skillet when you cook, it will leech iron into your food. Soybeans, lentils, leafy greens (as mentioned by Jen) and almond butter are all great sources of iron. I would also try taking a big spoonful of blackstrap molasses each day – it has iron and calcium and all sorts of wonderful vitamins in it!
Pipsa says
Thank you all so much, this was incredibly helpful! So dark leafy greens, beans, lentils, blackstrap molasses and almond butter it is for dinner tonight! 😉 Sounds delicious. Of course with a source of vitamin C!
Thanks Alanna for the very important tip about coffee/tea – it’s so weird that it’s so precise to have certain combinations and avoid certain combinations if one has problems with iron, but surely it seems to be vital to keep that in mind!
Kittenmarie says
So I’m a little late to the party, but I recommend this salad:
Baby Spinach
Candied Almond Slivers
Sliced Strawberries
Mandarin Oranges
Toss with a good vinaigrette, and nomnomnom!
Iron and vitamin C altogether and delicious! I could seriously eat this every day.
Lindsey says
I’m a little late as well (like, 6 months lol) but when I was pregnant my doctor told me in addition to taking a prenatal with omega-3, to increase my iron. When I looked at her in horror from thinking she was going to say to eat meat, she told me that oatmeal and cream of wheat have half the daily recommended amount of iron. So 2 bowls of oatmeal and you’re good to go with iron!
Pipsa says
Kittenmarie and Lindsey, thanks for your tips as well! Nice to hear that oatmeal is so useful in this matter, since I love it and eat it daily 🙂
Jen says
New relationships are so exciting! Happy for you, Katie! My husband is an all-American meat eating boy, even though I only cook vegan food for us on an everyday basis. He’s really supportive of my reasons for being vegan and happily eats everything I make. I put a lot of effort into making new recipes and keeping meals he likes in the rotation. I’m happy to make him a prime rib or turkey or whatever he wants on special occasions- holidays, anniversaries, celebrations, etc. He typically eats meat or poultry when we go out, and most of the time I know I’ll be able to find something vegan at the restaurants we go to, because I usually pick the place. He does love himself some BBQ, though, so I’ll “take one for the team” and settle for a plain baked potato when we go to one of our Texas BBQ joints. A lackluster meal now and then makes up for a happy relationship!
Sarah L says
I’m so glad you wrote this post, because I’ve been thinking about these sort of things lately. My boyfriend isn’t veggie, but he respects my decision. The only complaint he’s voiced was that when we move together we’d have to have two different meals if I don’t eat meat at all. He doesn’t eat pork, so I guess he has some kind of reference. I’m fine with him eating meat and things, though, I just hope I don’t have to prepare them, and I really don’t want these things to come in between us when we share so much else.
Actually, the only people I’m really conscious of telling I’m veggie are his parents. His dad is very keen on his low carb, high meat diet, and his mind seems to be harder to move than a mountain. His mother is quite different, though, and I think she’d understand, but I’m still nervous.
Kristi says
Congrats on your new relationship! Wishing you the best!
I LOVE making & eating spring rolls with peanut sauce! I use this recipe from loveveggiesandyoga: http://www.loveveggiesandyoga.com/2010/06/fresh-vegan-spring-rolls-peanut-sauce.html
I usually 1/2 the recipe, use toasted sesame oil, do straight up agave (no maple), don’t add ginger, & add a splash of tamari. It’s super yummy!! You should give it a try!
Jonathan says
Thanks for sharing this, Katie. As a man with more than just a few constraints on my diet, I often find it difficult to navigate dating without this coming up. Since I have multiple food allergies, even if someone doesn’t eat the same way I do, it’s at least helpful that they understand why I eat the way I do. My last relationship, it started out as an “understanding,” but the longer we were together, it eventually became us eating exactly the same.
So while it would be cool to date someone who’s gluten-free & dairy-free, it’s not a dealbreaker. But it would be cool.
Ashley says
I’ve definitely gone both ways, but mostly I’ve dated people whose habits were totally different from mine! My ex-fiance was with me through all the changes in my eating, and was super supportive when I went gluten free and then vegan.
Since then I’ve dated other non-vegans, and everyone has been super understanding of my eating habits. Recently I dated a vegan which was really nice because he was the only person I’ve dated who was willing to cook for me! It was amazing and I was so thankful for his sweetness and culinary abilities.
I think as long as the person you’re dating is open and understanding, it’s all good.
Karen says
I am also dating a non-vegan (who is, naturally super supportive of my own personal choices) and have never had any trouble with eating out somewhere with him! We are both big foodies by nature and I think he’s been even more compelled to find the best vegan food in town than I have– he wants me to have as many choices to eat out as he does and I think that’s awesome! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story– I love your blog and get so many compliments when I share your dishes with friends! 🙂
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Aw thanks, Karen. Thank you for making the recipes… My favorite part of blogging is when someone makes one of the things I’ve posted. Thank you!
Trish says
I had a horrible boyfriend back when I had gone veggie for about a year- he would go to KFC and wave the chicken in front of my face, and once he tried to get it in my mouth…. Needless to say that was my shortest relationship.
Currently I’m dating a non-vegan, but he’s super open to everything, and LOVES tofu. Which is great when we go out for sushi cause we can share!
Megan says
This year I started experimenting with eliminating gluten and sugar from my diet, and I was worried at first that it would be difficult for me to eat different foods from my husband. But, to my surprise, he wanted to adopt my same eating habits! He will occasionally eat gluten and sugar, but is very happy to eat the food I cook without it! Props to you for being able to make your relationship work with such different diets!
Lisa says
I’m a pretty lucky girl, I see.. Even though I never dated someone who was vegan, my boyfriend’s super understanding. He is an omnivore but since the day I told him I was vegan, he’s drastically reduced meat and telling me all the time “Honey, I haven’t had meat today”
He totally respects my beliefs and has never complained.. He even defends me in front of other people.. 🙂
Still, I’m always kinda hurt when I see him eating meat cause I just don’t understand that you can live with the knowledge of other beings suffering for your food.. Is anyone with me in that?
Juliette says
I am totally with you…that would be so hard. Veganism is such a central part of my belief system that it’s really a dealbreaker for me at this point. Luckily, I have a partner who within a year of us starting to date, gradually gave up all animal products. For me, eating “habits” being different is one thing (I like veggies, you’re a pasta addict; I avoid processed food, you love Taco Bell), but I don’t consider my veganism to be a habit, per se, because it’s so entwined with what I believe is right and wrong.
I want to be clear that I am not knocking anyone! To each their own in terms of comfort level, of course. But for me personally, I could never go to bed each night with someone who participates in the killing of animals.
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
I know what you mean :(. I try not to think about the living being that was once someone’s hamburger… or how my sister can say that pigs are her favorite animal and bacon is one of her favorite foods. I can feel sad, but I’m by no means perfect either, so I really can’t judge anyone else.
Hazel says
My husband isn’t a vegan or vegetarian. We eat completely different things and it works out just dandy. While what I eat is important to me, I am not going to try to change others. They see the same information that I do and it’s their choice what they do with that information. It doesn’t bother me – we all make choices ya know?! I respect others choices as I’d want them to respect mine, even if I don’t share them.
I have noticed that the best way to get people (not my husband because he sees everything I cook lol) to try new things I cook that are vegan is to just not tell them what is in it! I tried at first to explain all the great things in dishes and sometimes I got funny looks. People seem to be more open to trying things when I don’t mention the words ‘tofu’ or ‘dairy free’ or ‘flax seeds’. Who knew? 😛
As with ANYTHING in life, dating someone with different eating habits can be as difficult or as easy as you make it 🙂 Best of luck with everything! And keep the awesome recipes coming!
Kristen @ notsodomesticated says
I eat a bit healthier than my husband, but overall, we eat fairly similarly. It definitely helps to be on the same page in that area, but I realize it isn’t a requirement for a successful relationship!!
Erica @ Cult of Kale says
The only person I’ve ever dated who had the same diet as me was the one that I ended up marrying. For me, going vegan was #1 for the animals so I think it really was important that we shared those values. It wasn’t something I sought out, and I had dated other, non-vegans in the past. I believe that we clicked the most because that core value was the same.
Laura Miller says
I love Paciugos! Such tasty gelato, and it’s awesome that they make a dairy-free version for the lactose intolerant or vegan customers.
Kelsey says
I haven’t dated since I was diagnosed with Celiac, but I know it’s going to be a big factor in my future relationships. My future guy is going to have to put up with not being able to share food, drinks, kiss, or anything if he’s been eating anything with gluten!
Lisa @ The Raw Serenity says
Great post gorgeous!
Thanks for introducing him and fully respect your privacy.
Though i’m glad your brought up of topic of dating someone with completely different eating habits because this is something I have begun to worry about.
The thought of going over and meeting their parents for dinner and it is all animal based foods and other situations worries me and I am curious as to how people managed through this.
Thanks again Katie x
Robbin Z. says
I’m a non-veggie dating a vegetarian and he and I are both having fun with it! It took me awhile to understand, per his insistence, that usually long term veggies don’t go for Boca-type items that are made to taste like meat items. He’s educated me a lot, but isn’t pushy. I don’t eat much meat anyway and I’m on Weight Watchers, so we’ve been trying a lot of veggie-based dishes. Anyway, I think it’s great that you wrote a post about being the “vegan” in the relationship–great insight 🙂
Mia says
yes! HECK YES! my boyfriend noshes down about 65876978654 calories a day, maybe takes a run twice a week, and is soooooo in shape. whereas, i have to count calories, carbs, sugars, proteins, vitamins, enzymes and protons to keep in shape. it’s so unfair. lol
but that’s great for you! i hope everything works out for you guys!
Lea says
My boyfriend and I are polar opposites are far has eating goes, I’m a health-obsessed vegetarian and he enjoys Taco Bell and friend chicken. Admittedly, I try to convince him to health-ify his diet from time to time, even though it never really works. I don’t expect him to ever become a vegetarian, I just want him to be healthy because I want to enjoy his company for a long time!
He tells me I eat hippie food, I’m okay with that =)
Lori Haskell says
Great post and look into your life! I met my husband 15 years ago, and he was already a vegetarian, I was not. I became one in 2003, and it has made cooking in the household so much easier! :). For a while there, I was cooking two meals every night.
jo @ including cake says
Hey, ‘ladylike is so overrated’…ha ha!! Strangely enough my decisions to follow a vegan diet and the whole reason my blog came about in the first place (almost a year ago now) was purely from dating a vegan guy. The more time i spent with him, the more i cooked meals he could eat and so the more ‘vegan i became’ by default….but what totally took me by surprise was how amazing it made me feel. Within a few weeks/months i was totally convinced by the vegan diet from a health and nutritional point of view, however it became a bit difficult since my reasons for eating vegan were differeng compared with his ethical viewpoint. I wouldn’t have any issue with dating a vegan or non-vegan in the future, my only requirement would be that they cared about their health and hopefully that would mean their choice of food would reflect that.
BroccoliHut says
Oddly enough, even in our first encounter Seth mentioned that he liked tofu and seitan…even though he is not and never was a vegetarian/vegan. I guess we were meant to be 🙂
Really though, I consider myself very lucky to have a guy who is so willing to try whatever I make and loves vegetables almost as much as I do!
The Blissful Baker says
This is awesome! I love that you are so confident! It’s a great model for those of us a little more on the shy side 🙂
Check out my latest recipe @ bakingblissful.blogspot.com
Jen E says
I feel for you if I wasn’t married I would really have a problem dating a non-veg person. Would kissing them make you a non vegan lol. I wasn’t vegetarian until hubby and I were dating a bit. The year we got married 99′ was when I went veg. He was still into bloody steaks etc. So I made him cook his own food, because I was tired of it LOL. He eventually went veg with me I’m not sure if it was from me not cooking for him or not, but now we are vegan since Oct and we love it. He’s lost over 30 lbs and me just under that so I think it’s a win win!
Robin says
I’ve been married for almost 12 years. My husband is not a vegetarian, but he’ll eat pretty much anything. He supports my beliefs. I would, obviously, love it if he was vegan (or even vegetarian), but it’s his choice. Just like it’s mine to choose a plant-based diet. We love each other and support each other and that’s all that matters.
Have fun with your new beau!
LDT says
I have been dating a sweet (non-vegan) guy for the past two month as well! Last night I took him to Rawlicious (a raw vegan restaurant) and he really seemed to enjoy it! I have no plans of veganizing him either, but it’s great that he is open and respects my choices. Plus he loved his raw pizza.
😀
Lili says
I’m a non-vegan and just curious. If you went out and ordered something as benign as french fries, how would you know they aren’t frying meat or cheese products in the same oil? Do you just take the word of a waiter? I was vegetarian for many years and a favorite meal of mine was beans and rice. Never, ever had a clue all that time that some sort of ham bones are usually cooked down with that. Yuck! So, I’m really just genuinely curious how you are able to trust that there really is ZERO meat, dairy, eggs, etc. in what you order at a restaurant if it isn’t specifically catering to a vegan crowd.
Jen E says
My simple answer is I don’t go to restaurants for that very reason. I miss mcdonalds fries though, but they put beef in them yuck.
Heather says
My best girl friend is vegan, and I asked her that same question. Her answer was that she’s as informed as possible, and tries to make the best choices she can. For example, if we’re going to Olive Garden, she does some research online first. She finds out that the salad dressing has anchovies in it. So she orers the salad with oil and lemon juice. She also asks that the waiter ask the cook to not butter the pasta before they sauce it. Does it always work out that she’s eating 100% vegan all the time? No. But to her, being able to be social and enjoy life is as important as her diet. And she’s conceded that sometimes that might mean a little butter gets on her plate, despite her best efforts.
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
That could’ve been my exact answer :).
I try to be as informed as possible, but I also want people to see my lifestyle as “do-able” as opposed to strict and not fun. Yes, there have been a few times where I found out afterwards that I apparently didn’t get the vegan meal I thought I’d gotten. But luckily for me, there’s no medical necessity to stay away from non-vegan foods so if I happen to accidentally eat something non-vegan the worst I’ll get is a stomachache.
Rachel says
I’ve been a vegetarian since i was young but have always dated meat eaters. I’m now married but my husband couldn’t care less that i won’t cook meat. He is happy to eat legumes and tofu and cooks veggie necks for me – just one of the many reasons why i married him 🙂 my one rule is he can’t kiss me right after eating meat haha
Lyza says
Katie I TOTALLY RELATE to this entry!! LOL my boyfriend isn’t vegan at ALL, total meat and potatoes boy, and he cringes when I even mention the word tofu LOL!!! I have baked some successful vegan muffins and cookies for him, but it is extremely tough to get him to make him a vegan dinner he’ll actually enjoy, mainly because it’s just not my forte yet!! If my dad prepares him a vegan meal (although dad isn’t vegan either, he is a great cook) or we eat out, he’s always enjoys the meal, so I’ve won some battles but we have a long way to go, he is so picky and his favorite foods all seem to involve cheese or some type of meat!! He doesn’t even order marinara at italian restaurants, it’s ALWAYS ALFREDO LOL!! I don’t even know what to do with this boy!! I would never want to convert him but it’d be nice if he’d be more open to trying other foods and was a little less picky!! Today we got Mexican and he got this gimongous burrito filled with unmentionables. I got a lovely veggie quesadilla. LOL his favorite restaurant is this huge forboden steak house but he’s been too nervous to bring me in there, so yes we do have our conflicts LOL. I told him go ahead, I’ll just order some side dishes like french fries and beans or something. He immediately was like, “No I am just going to go with Tom (his friend)”!! LOL he would love it if I ate meat but it’s just not going to happen, I’ve completely lost my taste for it, it would just feel so wrong and unenjoyable at this point!
Kim Allison says
From looking at the posts I don’t think anyone’s touched on eating preferences being different, even if you’re both vegetarian, vegan or both eat meat.
My husband and I both eat meat but I would say that when we first got together what we considered a good meal was quite different. Over the last few years I’ve become increasingly health conscious so our meals at home have also changed – I make everything from scratch and use no packet mixes, which we used to live on (cringe!) when we first got together.
Through the whole thing he’s been very open-minded and supportive, which I think is the important thing – growing together.
Ellen @ Scrumptious Gruel says
I had never dated another vegetarian until recently and was actually disappointed not to have someone to take me to a steak house. I know it’s weird fr a vegetarian to want to go to steak houses but I think those places are actually great for vegetarians because they have awesome veggie sides…but I feel like at least one person has to be ordering meat to merit going to one so I never tried to get the fellow veg boy to take me…
Karen says
My husband took me to Barcelona for our 15th wedding anniversary. We easily found a gelato store with non-dairy options including chocolate!! I sooo wanted to move to Barcelona. It was a lot easier to find dairy free food options there compared to here. I’m excited to check out Paciugo’s Gelateria but I’ll need to pester them to get them to come to my city!
Anonymous says
I am currently dating an omnivore. But he is completely, totally open and supportive of me being a vegan. We often go to vegan/vegetarian restaurants — he had a tempeh bacon grilled cheese panini once and LOVED it! I made him vegan eggplant parm the other day, using tofu ricotta, and he said it was the best eggplant parm he’s ever tasted. I’m definitely not going to try to “convert” him to vegan (though I am trying to get him to eat healthier, whole foods — unlike what he used to eat in his college apartment), but it’s great that he’s so open and supportive of my lifestyle.
Lexi @ You, Me, & A World to See says
I’ve definitely had people ask me why I’m vegetarian. I never mind explaining or having them eat differently than me though!
Kari says
Judging from the comments you’re in good company!
I’ll just say this. My fiancé and I have been together almost 6 years. A year into our relationship he was listing tofu as one of his top 3 fears. He’s still an omnivore, but now hell hang with my vegan meals like a champ. Good luck!
Dahlia says
I’m a vegan and my partner is a carnivore. We’ve had lots of discussions about veganism, and he certainly appreciates and admires the reasons behind veganism. He has agreed to our family being vegan, and doesn’t eat any animal products during our family dinner – he actually only eats them out of sight of the three-year-old, as the little boy got a little freaked out when he saw a fish being prepared for a meal one day. I think veganism is more likely to stick if you embrace it of your own accord.
Jennifer says
A few years ago when I was only vegetarian, I was dating someone who had no respect for it (though, it soon became clear that he had no respect for me in general, either), and I could never be with someone like that again (for multiple reasons, obviously). Now I am vegan and in a long-term relationship with someone who isn’t but he was never a “steak and potatoes” kind of guy and actually now eats 95-98% vegetarian, and about 80% vegan. I know I can’t be with someone who believes he *has to eat meat. Our values would be completely incompatible. And values are a big deal. Being vegan is a spiritual, ethical, and moral thing for me, and to be with someone who has no respect for animals or who can’t at least see the health benefits (although the respect thing is a bigger deal for me) of not eating animals will just be impossible.
I may sound crazy, but I make no apologies for believing that vegan is absolutely necessary for me spiritually.
Katie says
my partner and i do tend to have fairly different food interests. he’s very meat and potatoes and heavy carbs, and i will pretty much eat anything that’s not red meat and/or traditonally american, mac and cheese nonwithstanding. however, after the last 5 1/2 years i’ve found a pretty good balance between the two of us. it turns out he loves stir fries and most homestyle japanese dishes, which is pretty much all i ate for the first few years of my life. so we just eat a lot of asian inspired food and i slip in lentils and tofu when i can get away with it. he’s been pretty easy going when it comes to my issues with red meat- i can’t handle conventional beef and i can’t really afford organic, so i just don’t cook it.
Jenn says
I’m lucky to have a meat loving boyfriend who won’t eat meat at home.
Rachel Gutierrez says
I live in Dallas, too! I’m married to a non-vegan, althought I wasn’t a vegan when we first met. I became a vegan almost a year ago and he’s been extremely supportive and understand! (I’m a lucky girl) 🙂 It was difficult at first, but we’ve learned that compromise is key! We, too, like Penne Pomodora and you MUST take you’re new boy to Sundown at the Granada! You will love it and there’s definitely options for your meat-eating other half, too! Congrats, by the way 😉
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Thanks, Rachel. I will definitely have to check it out! 🙂
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Woah, how did I not know about this place???
Alicia says
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and his eating habits are a lot different from mine! He shuns veggies and most “healthy” foods, whereas I try to eat healthily. We compromise when we make dinner at home, but we don’t have to when we go out to restaurants, fortunately! 🙂
Punkcoleman says
Story of my life, not the vegan part, but the different diet part. Im always faced with criticism of my healthy eating habits and my training program. And while my bf is supportive most of the time, his family (being of Italian background) are not so much, and because he has this background it makes it hard for him to see things from my perspective. So its a constant battle of trying to explain why this lifestyle is important to me and I dont sit there and judge there lifestyle choices and I definitely could if i wanted to.
Flik says
I’ve dated both vegans and non-vegans and I think it’s definitely a lot easier to date a vegan. But I think finding a partner is hard enough as it is, so I wouldn’t discount someone based on their diet.
Nadiya @ Milk and Honey says
I’m not vegetarian nor vegan but I feel like what you eat is one of the least important things in a relation. If a guy trully likes you he shouldn’t care about such a little thing.
Anna says
My nutritional habits have never been the same as my partner’s. We often eat our meals separately, but that’s also partly because we are often not home for dinner at the same time. It really isn’t an issue for us as our lives don’t revolve around food. We’ve been together over a decade so it’s definitely not a deal breaker!
Hillary says
My boyfriend is one of those guys who (and I quote) “don’t consider anything without meat a meal”. It’s WAY different from me, who was raised a vegetarian since birth! He’s a complete sweetheart though and doesn’t have any problem with me being a veghead. 🙂
Anna @ The Guiltless Life says
I’m super happy with you and thanks for sharing! It’s so much more fun to read about the people behind the recipe posts from time to time, as great as the recipes are :).
I, sadly, have not just never dated anyone who was vegetarian too but have never dated anyone who was even marginally respectful of my eating habits. My last boyfriend made a big point of making a huge plate of chicken breasts one night (literally just a huge pile) and sitting and eating them with his fingers in front of the TV, without any sides or anything. Sigh. I have never had the best taste in men! (This was particularly cruel seeing as he knew my choice to be vegetarian came entirely from an animal rights perspective. It wasn’t until later that I started to get into the health benefits of vegetarianism.)
One day, I tell myself, one day!
Annette says
My hubby was a meat/potatoes guy – I’m the complete opposite. Sometimes we’re black/white, ying/yang. Guess what? He still likes meat after 20 years, but after 20 years of slowly easing him and fighting Type 1 diabetes, plus watching his siblings and parents struggle with their health, he’s all over green smoothies and a plant-based diet. It’s also helped to encourage him to watch Food Inc., Forks over Knives and Frankensteer. 😉
Holly says
Cook him up some tofu! I am an ex-vegan, and my husband is from Argentina…HUGE beef eater. I’ve made him tofu on a number of occasions, and he is happy to eat it. He probably wouldn’t eat it every week, but he does like it.
Joanna says
Great post!
I turned vegetarian/vegan near the middle of my last relationship, though I have always been on and off with the diet back then. There were times where my choice was respected but it was more so laughed and ridiculed at. It was also difficult for us to share food with each other. For reasons other than that, the relationship ended.
But I’m with Rick now (who I talk about all the time in my posts, lol) and we were both vegan when we learned more about each other two years ago. He and I are still going strong and loving every part of our vegan lifestyle!
By the way, that gelato looks amazing. There’s a place here in San Diego called Chuao and they are veg-friendly with their chocolates and gelato as well. =)
Take care. <3
Rana says
Ladylike IS overrated! (Unless that’s just how you are, there’s no use fighting “nature”.)
Erica { EricaDHouse.com } says
This is so funny … my bf and I just got into an argument last night over vegetarians dating non-vegetarians! I have been for 5 years and he has started eating significantly less meat then before but still cooks it at the house once a week.
Our biggest hurdle will come if we decide to have kids. Do we raise them my way, or his?
Ruth says
I’m pretty much the odd one out here, but I would never have meat in my home, and I certainly wouldn’t buy or cook it! When we were dating and for the first few years that we lived together, my husband wasn’t vegetarian, but he only ate meat when we ate out, and even then he’d sometimes have something without. He became vegetarian round about when I became vegan. I’m not strict about other animal products in the house, as I don’t find eggs and dairy inherently cruel or disgusting in the way that I do meat or fish, but I still wouldn’t cook them for him, not now. He eats what I cook and I cook vegan. I’m very glad that he chooses to be vegetarian and often vegan outside the home, but I don’t do a happy dance every time he respects that I will not take part in what I consider to be unethical eating habits, because that’s just fundamental respect.
If you’re vegan for health reasons, you are making work for yourself if you act like a chef in a restaurant instead of the home cook you actually are (and if you have kids, would you do the same for them? It’s setting a bad example.) If it’s for ethical reasons I can’t understand it at all.
Anonymous says
what are you talking about?
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
I wouldn’t cook it either. Even if I wanted to (I don’t), I wouldn’t know how!
Janae @ Bring-Joy says
I am married to an omnivore & I’m vegan. All four of our kids are vegetarian, nearly vegan, but I don’t sweat it when we go to a gathering & somehow someone slipped them a non-vegan cupcake (I learned early that there are things to stress about & things NOT to stress about).
Even if I wasn’t vegan though, my husband & I would be on opposite sides of the spectrum. He likes 3 foods. I like 200. He doesn’t like mushrooms, cabbage, squash, eggplant & only likes strawberries in a jam or raw or in a smoothie, but not baked in a pie. We’re a funny eating couple, but he completely defends & supports my veganism, especially when talking about it with others. I don’t pressure him to change & he’s willing to try a new vegan dish I’ve created (even though I know it terrifies him, since he’s kinda picky).
It definitely can work–my husband & I are proof of it. Makes life, & your relationship, interesting, that’s for sure!
Diandra says
The BF would happily live on McD* food, or a cow and a bag of potatoes, every day. While I am not even a vegetarian, I try to live as healthy as possible, and only cook meat maybe once or twice per week. He is not always happy, but I have also noted that recently, when he goes out with colleagues for lunch instead of taking leftovers, he always complains how the fried stuff does not taste good at all. I am winning him over to the dark side. ^^
Jennifer @ Peanut Butter and Peppers says
My Husband is a big meat, fried foods person and I am the healthy eater. I learned how to make two meals at once without adding to many extra tasks. I do this so were both happy! 🙂
karen says
this so spoke to me – the guy I’ve been seeing is not a vegan, but he is so respectful of it – I tell him not to worry about where to go to eat that I can always find something. Example – he wanted pizza the other night and we opted to go to Uno’s – I figured the worst that could happen is that I would have a salad – it was late and I wanted something light anyway – to my surprise, they had a bean burger on the menu, so I went for it. He even tried it. Based on his reaction, he won’t be a vegan anytime soon, but I wouldn’t want him any other way than the way he is.
Ashley @ Wishes and Dishes says
I’ve never dated someone with different eating habits than me, but I have a lot of friends and family who are vegetarian. It’s no big deal to just leave the meat out of a dish! Vegan is a little more difficult though…
Anonymous says
The only vegeterian I dated I married!!! I can’t explain the joy to have your soulmate to be a veg as well!!!! I couldnt married somebody who eats meat simply cause I don’t want meat to be in my house ( and life in general)…. I love that we share the same values and that togheter we can teach our children the importance to be kind to all animals 🙂
I understand that people come to veg*ism for different reason and some may be less strict and also how much you are ready to compromise. I know my sister in law is looking for a boyfriend and sometimes wonder if she rather be alone or at leats with a meat eater. This is the question ?!
shannonmarie (rawdorable) says
I’m married to a meat eater, but I love him anyway. I guess opposites attract sometimes. Besides, vegetarianism and veganism don’t seem to be the norm where I live. I’m used to being different. I don’t try to change my hubby and he doesn’t try to change me either. The only issue is what to feed the kids. We let them try whatever they want (I wasn’t raised veg). I’d love it if they decide to go veg, but I don’t force them either.
Stacy says
I’ve been married for 11 years to my omni husband. I was veggie when we met (recently vegan) and we haven’t really ever had a problem. He is still getting used to my dairy-free ways (accidentally cooked me something with butter the other day) but mostly things work smoothly. We have 2 boys, one veggie and the other “veggie-depending-on-the-day”. It’s all good:)
Debbie (Accidently Delish) says
Oddly enough when I first started dating my fiance he was a vegetarian and I was not. It was never an issue. Then I became a vegetarian, and some years later he decided to eat meat again. So now I am the vegetarian and he is not. Again. Not an issue. Good thing about him is he likes vegetarian dishes. So it’s not a big deal. And dinners at home are just sometimes different. We still eat and enjoy dinner together, just don’t always eat the same thing. Thankfully now a days restaurants are so much more vegetarian friendly, and honestly vegetarian food is flat out tasty. We always take friends to a favorite vegan restaurant and they never know they are eating fake meat. I love it!
Åsa says
My partner and I are both vegetarian (and both made the choice separately long before we met) but our eating styles are almost completely opposite. First of all, he’s a very reluctant vegetarian, it’s a purely ethical choice that he tries to stick by despite the fact that he loves meat – so he has occasionally been known to slip up and have a steak (yes, seriously – and he likes it rare too. At least when he slips up he does it in style, he he…). I originally became vegetarian for ethical reasons when I was around 14 (now 33), but have never really liked meat and could never imagine eating it again (or fish for that matter). Secondly, he mostly eats things that come out of a packet, and basically has zero interest in food, often forgets to eat, and very rarely cooks. I love cooking, baking, etc, and make pretty much everything possible from scratch (including things like ice cream and bread), and it’s important to me to enjoy the food I eat, it’s not just fuel. So, being together has been very educational for both of us. I’ve started to become a bit more relaxed about food and meal times, and he’s developed a taste for ‘healthier’ foods to the point where he now goes to the wholefoods market by himself, even if I’m not around! Oh, and finally, he tends to finish a meal in 5 minutes or less, whereas I eat (annoyingly) slowly, so when we go out for dinner most of the evening will be spent with me listening to him talk and him watching me eat.
Rebecca says
You have a Clay Pit? There’s one here in Austin too. My boyfriend (the only one I’ve had) was already vegetarian when we started dating, and since then has given up eggs as well after learning there was such a thing as a “lacto-vegetarian,” since he didn’t really like eggs much anyway. As happy as I was about this, I made it clear to him that I didn’t really mind him eating non-vegan food and he should only do it if he wants to, not for me. We pretty much can eat the same thing, and he adds cheese to his food if he wants.
Danielle says
It turns out my husband used to be a super-picky eater growing up, but when he met me he started trying all the foods that I ate and liked a lot of them. As an adult, he had never tried beans, tofu, soymilk, etc. and now likes them all! He eats meat when we eat out, but doesn’t feel the need to eat it all the time-which is great! I think cooking meals for the two of us at home would be a lot harder otherwise. Most of the people I know that are vegetarian and married non vegetarians fall into 2 categories-the vegetarian ends up eating meat because they don’t want to make 2 separate meals, or they do end up making 2 separate meals! The best case for this is if meat is the only ingredient that needs to be added, I have a friend who will make the same basic food item and just add meat to one part and tofu to the other. But others end up doing two completely separate meals if the vegetarian meal is considered too “out there.” Of course, some people don’t really cook at home much and so then it’s less of an issue. And during the dating stages, different foods shouldn’t be an issue for eating out in big cities unless one person decides to make it an issue.
Ellen says
My husband scarfs down his food where as I take my time. Its funny he does it with most of what I cook and it drives me insane sometimes. And when its something new I ask him what he thought “Oh it was ok” or “it was good”. It leaves me wondering if he even tasted the meal lmao.
Kelly says
I’m a vegetarian with (fairly recent) vegan tendancies. When my boyfriend moved in two years ago, I made it pretty clear that he can eat whatever he wants outside of the house, but inside the house we would share meals for the sake of time, money, and overall my making sure he actually eats fruits and vegetables. He’s free to add meat if he wants to, but I think by providing high quality, highly tasty meals that he really doesn’t want to (as he never ever does except for occassionally cheese, and I can’t imagine he’s THAT lazy!). I also make sure to always include him in the taste-testing process (does this TVP enough like beef for you or do we need more of this or that) and make the dishes he loves as often as possible. However, when we go out to eat he still orders meat 95% of the time, but I’m really proud of the other 5%!
LizAshlee says
My fiance and I went to WF for a quick bite on one of our first outings! 🙂
Jackie says
This is kind of different from what other people have said, but when I first started dating my fiance, he only ate two “vegetables” – corn and potatoes. He occasionally ate a salad. Being as I was studying to become a dietitian at the time, I didn’t really support this and now he eats almost any veggie I put in front of him (except broccoli, which he will. not. touch.). I’m not completely vegetarian, but have been heading in that direction for a while and so both of us have cut our meat pretty drastically. While its possible I will eventually go completely vegetarian, he definitely won’t. And that’s okay, because he basically eats vegetarian with me at home. He eats tofu and even ate tempeh tacos a few weeks ago!!
Katie Smith says
This may be my favorite question you have asked so far! I am slowly (perhaps too slowly) moving towards a plant-based diet, but my carnivore hubby is not so into it. He fully supports me but isn’t really interested in making the change for himself. Without sounding arrogant (hopefully), I’m a pretty good home cook, I spent the first year of our marriage whipping up delicious (meat-filled) meals to impress my new husband. How that it’s been over 2 years of wedded bliss (haha 🙂 I’m not as interested in impressing him in the kitchen, but I still struggle with wanting to serve him a delicious meal that he loves, and a healthy (and delicious) meal that satisfies me. I’m not about to slave away preparing two separate meals, but I really don’t know how to bridge the gap either. Any advice? 🙂
Sarah the official CCK drooler says
Hire a personal chef! And you can thank me for this invaluable piece of advice later.
I guess giving advice isn’t really a career option for me, is it? 🙂
Seriously speaking, that’s a toughie. Why not make meals that can have variations? What my mom does for herself and my carnivorous dad is make something like spanish rice. She then divides it and after taking her portion, adds some type of meat (turkey, meat etc.) to it. This can be done with pasta, quesadillas, tacos, you name it!
Hope that helped. And if it did, I think I have a doozy of a career ahead of me.
Maša says
I’m omnivore (although I eat almost vegan because of lactose intolerance) and my last boyfriend was raw vegan. I must admit I really liked his eating habits ((this my seem a little weird, but I think that vegans also smell better – I don’t like it if guys eat too much animal protein)).
Susanna says
I am a vegetarian married to an non-vegetarian, and there are no problems, probably because I am the one who prepares the meals. I am happy to make his meals for him and adjust mine to be vegetarian. The children can choose vegetarian or non-vegetarian as they please.
Nicole says
My ex always joked about my plant-based diet and often made “jokes” about getting me to eat meat. The issue for me was that vegetarianism was a decision that I made years ago and was/am extremely confident about. It is a deliberate choice that I am proud of, so when people make jokes, I see it as very disrespectful. My other annoyance is that I’ve never outright teased or questioned someone for eating meat, so I don’t understand why anyone should question my choice to avoid meat.
Jaime says
Where do I start? I am a mom of two young girls with multiple food allergies (gluten, soy, dairy, egg) who both like different foods, a husband who is a meat and potato guy…only. as in no veggies other than peas, a 19-yo step daughter who’s “food swings” change literally every freaking day but mostly lives on yogurt and fiber bars, and then myself who is mostly raw vegan. Difficult doesn’t even begin to explain planning meals for everyone. I mostly live on carrots and hummus and whatever I can grab. There is NO WAY I would ever get anyone to convert to my diet or even one diet. You just learn to live with it…and that is ok. Mostly. Unless you are the cook. Then there are days you just let everyone fend for themselves – lol.
Jaime says
…I will say it took some time getting over my “fear” of handling raw meat when cooking. I still sometimes gag and I am 35 – lol (turkeys and ground beef in particular).
Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning says
My husband and I had VERY different eating habits when we first started dating. I was a health nut, and he was a typical bachelor- either eating out for every meal or eating frozen dinners at home. Luckily, he is SUPER open minded and not picky and will try anything. I’ve been on vegan kicks before, and he goes along with it. But, the great thing now is that he prefers eating the way I do- he just eats more!
One of the frozen yogurt places by my house (a self-serve place called Tutti Fruitti) started offering soy yogurt- and it’s SO good!
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Wow, thanks for the heads up… I just googled it and there’s one in Dallas! I’ll have to see if they carry the soy fro-yo.
Heather says
When I first started dating my husband we both were meat eaters. I never liked eating meat and if I would come across a piece of fat or a bone, I would stop eating the whole meal because I would be grossed out. After becoming a vegitarian, my husband commented that he likes me not eating meat because I enjoy what I am eating now. He still eats meat and our children occasionally eat meat. Mostly they eat meat when we dine out, we rarely have meat in the house because I am the main cook in the house, and I won’t cook or touch meat. But it doesn’t affect our relationship at all. If he wants meat we dine out or he can cook it. We understand and respect each others preferences.
Ruth says
My husband and I share the same values. We care about the environment, are on the same page when it comes to finances, are both bookworms, had picked out the names of our future kids before we became engaged, and love spending time outdoors.
When it comes to food preferences, and several other things though, we are quite different. I like to call him a “meatatarian” because if we can afford it, he will always prefer to eat meat. He does need to eat a lot of protein since he is 6’3” in socks. He also loves sweets, full fat dairy, and white carbs
I had to overhaul my diet about a year ago because of a health condition. My diet is now gluten free, dairy free (I do eat goat’s cheese and goat’s milk yogurt) with no refined sugars. My body will tolerate stevia and agave syrup, and occasionally honey or maple syrup.
My husband also has food sensitivities. They are not allergies, because he does not have an allergic reaction, he has a metabolic reaction to certain foods (ones that contain salysilic acids, tomatoes are the foods that he has the strongest reaction to) and artificial flavors, colors and additives. He becomes hyperactive (basically behaving as if he has ADHD) if he eats these foods or substances.
So cooking dinner at our place can be a challenge. I basically make creative substitutions. Mark (hubby) won’t give up the foods he loves and I don’t blame him, since he has had to give up a lot of food already. He’s been pretty game for coming up with solutions that work for both of us, since he’s been coming up with substitutions because of his own food sensitivities for years.
Sometimes he’ll cook up a weeks worth of his beloved beef pot pie with biscuit topping, which I can’t have, and I’ll cook up a veggie casserole and we’ll eat separate dishes for a week. More often though we’ll come up with something that both of us can have.
I think it’s healthy to be different from your partner. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
Regina says
My husband is a meat eater. I have no problem going out to eat but it seems to stress him out. He’s always worried about where to go then as soon as we get there he immediately wants to know what I plan on eating. The other thing he’ll do is see one item on the menu, point it out and assume I’ll get it. I keep trying to tell him that we can go anywhere and I’ll work with their menu. Most places I can just modify something they already make.
Sarah the official CCK drooler says
So… no pic of him, huh? Nice. Just kidding. And no I can’t relate to any of you people who have commented cuz… I’ve never dated. I can hear you gasp right now. I guess there’s a little time left since I’m only 16… I hope 🙂 My mom always says to focus on school and leave that stuff till its time. And who knows when THAT is. Does anyone else’s dad make jokes about how you can date after you’re married? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I hope to date a guy who is moderately healthy (which means not having a Whopper every other day) and higher than moderately good at cooking… and doing laundry. And if you can wash the dishes and pick up your socks without being told, you are a dream.
So here’s my number. And Call Me Maybe 🙂
Ruth says
Regina,
Do you mind me asking how long you and your husband have been together? Maybe it’s just something he’ll get used to. It’s sweet that he’s concerned about you. That’s better than having a husband who makes fun of you for not wanted to eat meat and potatoes every time you go out! My husband and I have been for counseling. The chronic health condition I mentioned before did a lot of damage to our relationship. Our counselor says that when two people get married, or become partners it’s like merging two different cultures. Adjustment is required.
Moni Meals says
I am so happy for you! Yay. 🙂 whole foods is always a great option!
Amber says
I am a vegetarian married to a non-veg. When we were dating I was up front about the fact that I would not cook meat for my husband, but I would cook side dishes, etc and he would be responsible for the meat if he wanted it. I have relaxed a little and will actually dump frozen fish on a cookie sheet (covered in lots of foil) and push it around with the end of a wooden spoon. I am lucky because my husband actually doesn’t like a lot of meat. He will not touch poultry or pork, and rarely eats beef. He basically eats only fish. However our food issues are related to him NOT LIKING VEGETABLES!! I grew up in a family that always had a garden and a typical Thanksgiving meal with his family? Turkey, fish, potatoes, white rice, and rolls. He does now try 99% of the things I make and actually likes about 75%. Our 3rd date I ordered Tofu Pad Thai, and he later told me that he thought to himself, “that will be the day I ever try that pile of noodles.” Now it is at the top of his favorite foods list – yes my picky eater now ENJOYS FRIED TOFU! Allthough I never expect him to become a vegetarian, I am trying very hard to get him to eat a more well balanced diet – he even enjoys Tempah now!
In the end it is all about respect for each other’s belief’s!
Ruth says
@Katie, you could make a vegetarian meal and then have pre-cooked meat you could add in at the last minute to his portion. Or you could talk to him and explain how you feel and suggest that if he loves his meal, perhaps he could make some big batch meat meals on the weekend for himself. Or, if you want, you could make up big batch meat meals for him on the weekend. There is no easy answer for this, I’m afraid. You have do some negociating!
Aussie P says
Love this post Katie! As always, most entertaining 🙂
Years ago I went out with a BUTCHER…..ummmm……and me being Vego? As if that was ever going to work?! Needless to say it didn’t last long……LOL
First time I had dinner with his family was interesting….his dad being a butcher too….I turned up for a BBQ……hmmmmm……I even met him at work from time to time, all the while wondering what the hell I was doing out the back of a Butcher’s shop…..I thought it was love but it was just a rebound…..the things you do!!! Ha ha….
Mallory says
I MARRIED a non-vegan. He’s completely respectful. We don’t have meat in the house and we very rarely have anything dairy– gotta make something with cheese for him once in awhile. The solution is: I cook vegan things that are good 🙂 I ask him all the time if he feels like I don’t feed him well, but the answer is always no, he loves my cooking. When we eat out, he gets meat sometimes and other times he gets something I can share. I try to respect him as he respects me but at the same time, I’m vegan for health reasons so I do share my opinions at times. I just want to keep him around 🙂 Everyone always questions the food thing when they meet us, but it’s not hard to tell that it works. :):):):) Thanks to Katie, I can make healthy awesome guilt-free desserts for us both!!
Shauna says
I eat chicken…once in a blue moon, but that’s about the extent of my meat eating. But my husband likes his meat. He also really enjoys (most of the time) the vegetarian meals I prepare which I am very thankful for! I keep organic/non-processed chicken or turkey sausages in the freezer and whenever he wants meat I just heat one up in the microwave. haha…not the most gourmet approach but he has never complained and as far as I know he’s still not sick of sausage (how he’s not is beyond me).
Lindsey says
I nominated your for the One Lovely Blog Award. Thanks for all your fabulous posts!
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Aw thank you, Lindsey!!
Vicki says
Answer to the question: Yes.
Our Diet is very much a part of our journey. For Two to walk together they must agree. I’ve watched many couples with and without the same dietary convictions. Relationships are challenging enough but to have different visions for how we relate to food can really create a strain. One who is interested in health and avoiding the support of large agribusiness becomes more solid in choices and habits. Lets face it, its actually a large part of our vitality and joy. Its really nice to share that joy with someone else.
Jamee says
Thank you for sharing, Katie. I’ve been dating someone for over a year who has completely different eating habits than I. Even before I transitioned to vegan, it was a challenge. He has an extremely high metabolism and must eat several good-sized, high-calorie meals a day in order to keep his weight up. He also is super picky and often won’t eat exactly the same meal I do because I usually try lots of different fruits and veggies (of which he only likes a handful).
Now that I’m trying to stay away from all animal products, it can be even harder because we don’t share those foods that we both used to enjoy together. So most of the time we have to organize different meals from each other, or he’ll modify his to include only the foods he likes.
If I were to adopt his same eating habits, I’d become very overweight. But it’s so hard sometimes not to sample his food when he’s having a whole huge meal of meat/fish/pasta/pizza right in front of me, but I’m not actually hungry and don’t need to eat (especially those foods). It takes a lot of self-control!
I am very thankful, though, that my picky boy has been understanding and open to my shift to veganism. He appreciates the reasons behind it and has made efforts to lower his consumption of animal products (he even switched from regular milk to soymilk, aww), and he’s usually willing to try the vegan recipes I make. We often poke fun at each other’s eating habits, but I’m glad there’s a mutual respect and understanding.
Lady Jennie says
Have fun with your new beau. And you’re right about respecting the other – if it’s not food it will be something else.
Linda says
Are animals “meat”?
Heather @ For the Love of Kale says
Matty is not vegan and, at first, I was weary of dating someone who ate so much differently than myself. Really…he ate Ellios pizza and bagels with cream cheese practically every day. Now, four years later, we’re so happy and food is one of our favorite bonding tools! He has really improved his health (thanks to me, cough cough ;-)) and we make vegan meals and dine at vegan restaurants all the time! He loves it! For sure, it wasn’t easy at first…but once he opened up to me and asked mroe questions, we really became so much closer over it!
Tash says
Yes, I have been with my fiancé for almost 3 years now and at the start of this year I decided to go vegan, for a while we both tried going vegan but mark is such a HUGE meat eater do it really didn’t work for him, I on the other hand was basically a vegetarian I could be turned off eating meat by simply saying the name of the animal or making an animal sound ( much to my parents horror when I was a child) so not eating meat wasn’t an issue for me as for wool and leather I chose not to wear it as a kid being big on animal activism. We sorted out the eating by agreeing our home food is vegan ( which ensures he gets his veg) and when we or he is out he can eat whatever, it’s a great compromise and I am more then happy to just have hot chips if that’s all I can get when we are travelling, that or a nice juice and a banana 🙂
B @ Crags and Veggies says
My boyfriend is not vegan or vegetarian and it works out fine. We have an understanding that he can add meat to dishes and that there is no pressure between either of us to force each other to eat the same way. I think understanding and acceptance really is the best way.
Elizabeth says
hee-hee….. Just happened to come across this today.
http://www.theveganwoman.com/how-to-convince-your-boyfriend-to-go-vegan/
Ali says
Yup! I’ve been vegetarian for almost two decades, and my husband has been a meat eater his whole life ;). Fortunately he keeps an open mind, and I can’t be too picky if I share a casserole dish with chicken. So, we do a lot of half and half meals. One half with meat and one half with some other type of protein. Works well! And, same as you we always find something when eating out. Happy to hear you are having fun in your relationship!
lynn @ the actor's diet says
i’ve been happily married to a vegetarian (and i eat foie gras – sorry!) for 15 years
Linda says
Why is not killing animals negotiable? If you’re partners were eating a dog or a cat would you be tolerant of that? There’s moral schizophrenia and spinelessness all over the place here.
Leire says
I really like your blog and recipes. I still haven’t found a recipe with tofu I like so I am open to suggestions 🙂
I am a MEAT LOVER…I feel guilty after reading many of the comments…but I can’t help it..I really enjoy it…but I would always try anything that is offered to me and I eat many vegetables and legumes!
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
Try the Chocolate Bar Pie linked in this post! Even tofu-haters love it. I first made it a few years back, and my boyfriend at the time was so mad after he said it was delicious and I told him the secret ingredient. He was outraged he’d just admitted he liked tofu… but then he had another piece ;).
(If you do try it, make sure to use Mori Nu tofu, which can be found in the Asian section of a store like Whole Foods… or in some other grocery stores as well. You can always ask an employee if you can’t locate it.)
Brandi says
My boyfriend is a vegetarian, and I am not. Although it’s not as strict as vegan, it still creates challenges in our relationship food-wise if we are over at each other’s houses. We make it work obviously… I just wish he like onions.
Roxanne says
When I first started dating my husband, he had been vegetarian for about 5 years, and I was definitely not. We were both respectful of each other’s diet, though. If I bought meat, I’d let him know and keep it out of sight. I also wouldn’t cook it when he was in the house. I was totally fine cooking all veg meals for the two of us, because I always found raw meat repulsive anyway. Most of the meat I ate during this time was in restaurants, parties, or family gatherings.
After we’d been together about 3 years, I decided (on my own) to give up red meat for health reasons, and a few years later, I gave up all meat and became vegetarian after reading more about the meat industry, becoming friends with a vegan, and feeling a moral need to stop eating meat.
This same vegan friend is dating a guy who I believe was a meat-eater when they first met, then went vegetarian, then vegan, all on his own. Obviously this transition doesn’t happen for every non-veg/veg couple, and it’s not strictly necessary for a good relationship, but it’s nice when it does because you can relate to each other on that level. I don’t have plans to become vegan, but I think if my husband decided to (doubtful!), it would be easier for me to give it a shot.
Maria says
I was vegan for a year when I met my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years, and while it was a challenge at first, it got easier with time. Once he got over the fear of “vegan” food, he was fine. At home he eats all my vegan food, since I do most of the cooking, and when we go out he usually orders non-veg fare. I don’t like to bully him about his food choices, I do try to educate him though and he has better eating habits now and is more conscious about what he eats. I just think respect goes both ways, and I wouldn’t want him to be pushy about eating meat so I’m not pushy about him going vegan or vegetarian.
faidra says
I loved your blog when it was more personal. Actually that is the beauty of blogs, that we develop a “friendship” and you know some more things about the other person. Recipes are ok but a only recipe blog is a little boring, I mean is nothing more than a cooking site.
A lot of blogs have turned to only recipes and this is the reason I stopped following them. I like to read about interesting people with beautiful lives, it is really motivational. That is why my favourite one is Hungry Runner Girl.
Mary Jean says
Two of my long term boyfriends became vegan while we were together. They were hardcore meat eaters before me…I lived with one of them for 5 yrs. I was elated at first and you would expect that as a vegan this would be a dream come true but to be completely honest it was a pain in the ass lol! I was in college for most of that time for nutrition so I had a lot of studying and I worked also…cooking was not high on the list. When he became vegan my typical meal of 1 boca burger and a handful of broccoli didn’t cut it, especially because he was a bodybuilder lol. I never pushed him to become vegan and eventually he started “cheating” and when I found out he blamed me lol! Issues? Um yes! He said I knew you’d yell at me and give me crap. I’m now dating a meat eater and although I don’t see him going vegan he is totally into eating clean and nutritious with me 🙂
Nicky says
I’ve been married for almost five years now. My husband and I made diet changes together after we got married. I’ll say this much: there are going to be differences in any relationship no matter what. (for us, I think one of the biggest was socioeconomic status; I came from a poor background, and my husband came from an upper-middle class lifestyle; diet wasn’t a big battle.) there will always be challenges in managing different beliefs, values and expectations. But it is possible for two different people to thrive in a relationship if they are always thinking about the other’s well-being and trying to see each other’s point of view. If two people can do that, that will always be able to work things out.
Kiersten says
When I started dating my husband, he didn’t eat red meat. In fact, he didn’t eat much meat at all. I respected that and actually changed my eating habits. I was never a huge fan of red meat anyway, so it wasn’t hard for me not to buy it or eat it anymore. We’ve now been married for almost 9 years. In that time, I have had maybe 1 burger. Because of him, I eat healthier!
Christine Oppenheim says
In my experience, when you introduce a non-vegan to delicious vegan food, they are more willing to give it a try on a more regular basis and toss aside some of their pre-conceived notions. A difference in how you eat may only become an issue when things get serious enough for it to matter (ie moving in together, marriage, raising children). My boyfriend does not prepare meat in the house out of respect, which I really appreciate. He will still eat it when he’s out, but not as a rule. He often chooses a veg option, or eats frequently at vegan spots, like Native Foods, even when I’m not with him! This is his own decision based on my positive influence, not because I’ve ever been pushy about it.
Steph @ A Life without Ice Cream says
Hey there. I just discovered your blog and have to say I love it! Perfect blend of recipes, anecdotes, and hilarity!
I’m dairy-free and it can cause some problems when dating… people can sometimes make judgments based on your food choices or realities. That and men seem to get really hung about about the fact that I don’t eat cheese 😛
Glad I found CCK 🙂
Julie at LessSugarNaturally says
I had to laugh at the Whole Foods date comment. My husband and I went away for a very rare romantic weekend with no kids…last month. We went past a Whole Foods which we don’t have where I lived. It was my first time and needless to say…he had to literally pull me out of the store. Later, I made him take me there for dinner.
As far as eating different foods…2 of us in the family eat low-sugar..and the other two drink pop and eat sugar. I’ve learned you have to shut up about it and enjoy what you can together. People thrive best in relationships with mutual respect rather than having similarities.
Katie says
Love this post!! But my question is…WHEN do you tell a new boyfriend/date that you’re vegetarian/vegan? Wait until it comes up? Bring it up yourself? How??? (if you can’t tell, this is a problem I’m currently struggling with!)
Chocolate-Covered Katie says
I was lucky in this case, because he already knew. But I did feel a little awkward when I brought it up with my previous bf… I just kept telling myself that this was important to me and that if he didn’t get it, he obviously wasn’t the guy for me! 🙂
Julie (A Case of the Runs) says
Hey, great to hear that things are going well with *someone*! I was veg when I met my finace (now eat fish), and people make more of a big deal out of it than we do. Luckily, he’s open-minded, and to some extent, so am I (I am willing to eat stuff off of the same plate as meat). Most of the time, it just feels natural.
Alisa says
I love paciagos! I moved from Texas two months ago and I really miss it, specifically paciagos. Lucky!
Elle says
Congratulations Katie! 🙂
I’m a vegan and my boyfriend is an omnivore. He knew I was vegan prior to us dating as we’d been friends for years beforehand, so he was aware of what he was in store for! Although he’d occasionally poked fun at me in the past, since I made him aware of the reasons why I’m vegan, he’s shown nothing but understanding and respect for my decision. I don’t think he’ll even become vegan but he loves vegan food and will often order a vegan option when we dine out so that we can share our food. 🙂 Admittedly, I do cringe when I see him eat meat, but I don’t give him a hard time about it. I don’t agree with his choices, but I respect them, just as he respects mine. I’m fortunate to have found someone so understanding! 🙂
Sandy says
Hi Katie
Just wanted to encourage you with a little message!! I’m vegan and my husband isn’t and despite what some people might think – we have a perfectly happy marriage. I don’t believe it gets in the way unless people think it does!
Enjoy your boyfriend and enjoy him for who he is – not what he isn’t!
🙂
Natasha says
When I started dating my boyfriend, he was vegan and I still ate meat. Back then I hardly ate any vegetables. But dating a vegan is a really good way to try new food 🙂 I starting eating more vegetables and learning about vegan cooking and baking. He did most of the cooking at the start of our relationship, but when we moved in together he was working more so I’ve been cooking a lot. I’ve been mostly vegetarian since then, but I still ate meat when I visited my family. You can’t read vegan food blogs without learning about all the reasons people are vegan and I recently became vegan too.
It’s difficult to eat out since many of the restaurants in our town don’t even have a vegetarian option. But I think the food I’m making at home is really amazing these days.
Lisa says
I am a recent Vegan and had encouraged my boyfriend to look at the things/sites I had seen that had brought me to the decision of being Vegan, and that helped him realize that I wasn’t completely crazy.
We’re both thinking marriage is definitely in the future, which is another interesting twist.
I’ve told him I’m not going to force him to be Vegan (I completely agree with you it’s a two way street!) and he respects me in holding to my convictions of Veganism, but when we’re married I’m not too keen on preparing anything that’s not Vegan. If he wants to make it, then sure. Is that being too…what’s the word…harsh..inflexible? It’s just hard because I had a period of time of transitioning already before turning Vegan from an omnivore and I know a small part of me (just being honest here) wants him to be as enthusiastic or share that bond in being a Vegan–have support from him since we know we both want to be married to each other.
I’m really glad to know I’m not the only one out there who is Vegan when the significant other is not!
Dan Griffin says
Very interesting. I see this is and old post, so this may or may not be relevant any longer. I met my wife when I was 29, so I dated a lot in my 20s. I found that food was a great way to connect with dates — and the ones who liked to cooked usually lasted (at least for a while).
Now that I’ve been married for 4 years, food/cooking is a huge part of our life. I think we have evolved toward healthy/organic/veg together, so that makes it a lot of fun to share. If we weren’t on the same page, I think it would make it really difficult to eat healthy. As it is…if I bust out some chickpea brownies, my wife thinks it is pretty cool.
Anonymous says
Don’t worry so much. You are clearly a very good cook – this will impress boys more than the lack of meat will drive them away. If they want meat, you can go to a restaurant, of he can just throw some chicken wings in the oven and have them as a side dish.
Stephanie says
I’m glad I went vegan AFTER I got married. 😛
My husband completely supports my switch to veganism. Mostly because he wants to see me healthy. I used to weigh 230 pounds and I’m now just a few pounds away from being in the 100’s again. I love being vegan and it’s helped a lot of my health issues. My husband used to say he’d never commit to going vegetarian or vegan but now that he’s seen the results and learned more about it, he wants to do it too! 😀