Today’s post is very personal, so if you don’t like that sort of thing, feel free to skip it.
In my red velvet pancake post, last week, I brought up heart health and how it’s important to take care of one’s heart. What I didn’t mention was:
I once took my own heart for granted.
Awhile back, I wrote a post about my weight and diet.
The post briefly referred to a time when I overdid it on the running while simultaneously—and accidentally–underdoing it on the eating. But I never elaborated much on what happened. Since I’m trying to be more personal on the blog, I thought I should tell more of the story, especially so none of you ever take your hearts for granted like I did:
It was in high school. I was big into athletics, playing both varsity soccer and tennis. As soon as I started running, I was hooked on that too.
But nobody remembered to tell me just how many calories athletes burn.
At this time in my life, I knew nothing about nutrition, was always running from one activity to another, and would eat whatever I could get my hands on when I had a rare free moment…
Of course, I’d also *just* switched to a vegan diet, which meant I was inadvertently taking in fewer calories simply because I’d fill up on bulky foods.
I didn’t realize I was losing weight—weight I couldn’t afford to lose—until people started taking my mom aside and asking if I was okay. She hadn’t noticed either; when you see someone every day, it’s hard to notice a gradual change. She appeased their fears by answering, “Oh, Katie’s just like I was as a kid: always eating, never gaining an ounce. Who knows where it all goes?!” But as more and more people continued to approach her, we had to face facts: something wasn’t right.
We booked an appointment with the pediatrician, who confirmed I’d lost a lot of weight. But then she also told me something else: My heart rate was extremely low, as was my blood pressure. I’d never heard the words bradycardia or hypotension before, but just the mention of such grandiose medical terms terrified me. (I think, if I remember correctly, my resting heart rate was 42 bpm.) The pediatrician referred me to a cardiologist.
That week between doctor visits was the scariest of my life. Imagine having to go about your daily routine, focusing on fractions and friends, worried all the while that you might have a dangerous heart defect. Obviously, I wasn’t running at this point; in fact, I was afraid to move at all. I was even afraid to go to sleep at night!
Finally, the day of the cardiology appointment arrived. After performing an EKG, they stuck a bunch of stickers on me, squirted some freezing-cold blue gel on a probe, and rubbed the gel around my stomach for half an hour. Then, after what seemed like hours of waiting (because I was so nervous), the cardiologist came in.
Turns out my low heart rate wasn’t a problem. (Athletes often have heart rates in the 40s. Even now, mine is usually in the low 50s.) But the doctor did advise me to gain back the weight I’d lost before I started running again; I’d been feeling sluggish and dizzy, and my low blood pressure #s were troublesome.
Happy ending: I took their advice, got healthy, and when I came in for my follow-up, six months later, the doctor told me I could even run a marathon if I so desired. (Thanks anyway, doc. I did not so desire.)
The reason I’ve never shared this before with is because I was embarrassed to admit how I took my health for granted and risked doing serious damage simply due to lack of proper care of my body. But I’m smarter for it– if I feel like something isn’t right, I won’t ever ignore it again like I did with the dizziness, sluggishness, and friends’ voiced concerns in high school.
My body is amazing, and that’s why I honor it every single day: with healthy foods (but only if they’re also delicious), with enjoyable exercise, and–above all–with plenty of good-quality rest.
Edit: Yes, I know there are a lot of disgusting rumors circulating about me online. For my own sanity, I’ve blocked some of the worst gossip sites so I can’t look at what the trolls are saying anymore. The rumors I saw in the past were either half-truths or (more often) full-blown, hurtful, and seriously ridiculous lies made up by people who have never even met me. There’s not a way to edit the stuff said on other sites—and it’s a free country so people have a right to say what they want. But please remember to consider the source when you read something. Anyone can say anything online, but that doesn’t make it true. If you’re ever wondering about something, just ask. I’m not trying to be devious or hide anything in my life.
(And yes, I know a lot of people are finding this page because Google decided to give out “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder” as suggested search terms. Unfortunately I can’t do anything about that either; it’s self-perpetuating. People are always going to click on it out of curiosity.)
Alice says
My god, I’m SO angry with the people who insult you and talk about you on the base of one or two pictures they saw without knowing anything about you.
You are an extremely awesome person, you are so full of joy and happy thought and positive things you share with us all, and, to a point, you helped me to get over my own ED.
When I was away from the thought I’d have to starve myself to be pretty, I was still struggling with my self-esteem and getting to normal, healthy eating habits (still am, but it besomes better slowly), several documentations on TV and articles in magazines (along with other media) made me feel like there was no “normal” anymore in concerns of body shapes and eating.
It was like there were only two possibilities: Starving and being too thin and ill or eating tons of (unhealthy, not your) cake and sweets and junk food while becoming fat.
If your amazing blog taught me one thing, it is that health is the first thing that matters, and as long as one is paying attention on health in the right way, one can be skinny or normal or whatever, depending on the person. But healthy, in any case.
I don’t know if my babbling is understandible, but it was fun to write it^^
Thank you, Katie, for your incedibly great blog!
Kelli Anderson says
Thank you for sharing this. You’re so smart to block those awful sites! I love your honest approach. You are an example to me.
Casey says
Thanks for sharing your story. I am currently going through the same kind of problem but I unlike you unfortunately have anorexia nervosa and have related heart problems and it is not all that easy for me to reverse. I must say I wish that I did not care and it was so easy to just eat food not calories. I am glad that you did not have to experience such a horror.
Punz says
Hey, I love your site, and have been referring to your recipes for almost a year now. I’m a student trying to eat and cook healthy, and find your recipes both for convenient and delicious. I’m also trying to lose weight but I’m often told I don’t know where to draw the line between healthy and extreme. To help me decide, I did an online search and found a really interesting link. I just thought you should be aware.
P.s. Disclaimer – The person on the link site does not know or is not affiliated to me in any way. I found it out of my own research.
Chocolate Covered Katie says
Hi Punz,
Thanks for such a sweet comment. I just looked at your link and emailed you about it. A lot of it is either completely made up or taken out of context. People are able to say whatever they want on the internet, and no one polices it, so there’s unfortunately nothing I can do except hope people who read her site will see through the ridiculousness of it.
Punz says
Hi Katie, I appreciate your prompt reply and making things clear. My apologies if I came across as accusatory. Once again, your recipes rock! Cheers!
Kaitlin says
Hi Katie,
I have a similar situation– I was a heavy kid and lost a lot of weight by adopting a healthy vegetarian diet and exercise. Only I also got pretty thin without realizing just how small I was and now need to gain the weight to protect my heart, bones, organs, etc.
Do you have any advice on how to do this in a healthy, slow and steady way and then stop at a good weight? Or was it easy peasy for you? I’m finding it a little scary to know the right way to do it without overdoing it or adding “bad” weight if there is such a thing. I love this post, the comments on it, and all your recipes. SOOOO good!
Kaitlin
Jessica says
I read lots of healthy cooking blogs, and I absolutely love that your blog is all about enjoying healthy desserts without worrying about weight loss. Everyone wants to feel good, regardless of their weight, and a huge part of that is eating healthful, delicious foods.
I must say, though you are slim it’s clear from your photos that you are also very healthy. No one gets hair and skin like that from disordered eating. So pretty! My first thought was seriously, “Oh, she must be a runner.”
Thank you for being funny, creative, and honest. Also, I think this applies here:
http://xkcd.com/481/
Chocolate Covered Katie says
LOL!
Courtney says
This post really hit home for me. I am pretty much in the exact same situation you were in. I have run cross country and track for 4 years now, but we just got a new coach and he has kicked up our training and our mileage to a whole new level. He also talks to us a lot about eating healthy and not fueling up with junk food and sugar and his talks really went to my head. I cut off all processed foods and anything I thought was unhealthy -I was eating nearly 2200 calories under what I should have been- and combining that with the running I lost a ton of weight. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and am just now starting to realize how bad this is. I’m starting to turn things around now and this is a huge inspiration for me. Thank you!!
Hannah says
I love you, your a strong, healthy, independent girl. Who makes the healthiest most awesome recipes on the planet. You also bring awareness and change people one chocolate goodness at a time. I’m really glad your health scare had a positive outcome. Sending you lots of love 🙂
Catie says
Katie,
I love your blog! I’ve been reading it for the past few years and I’ve never left a comment on anything, not really sure why. After reading through this post (and the “my weight and diet” post) I felt inclined to say something.
First, I think it might be helpful to know that I am in the process of becoming a registered dietitian, I am about to graduate with my bachelor’s of science, and then go on to my masters. That said, I have always admired your recipes (there is nothing better than a deliciously nutritious meal or snack). Whenever I’m in the mood for something new, healthy, and tasty, your blog is the first (and often times, the only) place I go to. I love to cook and create my own recipes, but I also love trying things other people create.
I would also like to preface this comment by mentioning that I am also an athlete and I have bounced between sports for the past several years. From softball, to running, to swimming, now to heavy lifting, I have had my fair share of sports injuries and health irregularities. The first thing I thought when reading this post was “her resting rate was 42 bpm? but she’s a runner, that’s normal for someone who is so athletic, i’ve been there too.” After I thought that, I thought “well, I hope the low heart rate wasn’t a sign of something more serious.” As you said, it wasn’t a serious heart problem at all! Luckily! =]
Anyway, all that aside, I want you to know that I, a reader, future registered dietitian, athlete, and self-proclaimed foodie, admire everything you stand for. I know this particular post is a few years old and I’m sure all the negative emotions from the awful attitudes have since dissipated, but I still feel compelled to reinforce how inspirational you are when it comes to nutrition, delicious food, and overall health.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences (and your amazing recipes). Not only are all your post delicious (when they’re about food), but you are so articulate and descriptive that they are so interesting to read!
Keep on doing what you do best and don’t let anyone discourage you!
(oh, and my name is Catie, too! except i spell it with a C =])
Irene says
Well said, Katie!
I’m a pediatric nurse and used to work in a cardiology clinic for children. We did EKGs, Echos (like you described–except we warm up the gel!), etc. Occasionally, a teenager or young woman came to the clinic for the first time with the same referral as you: low BMI, heart rate, and blood pressure. Almost every patient had the same recommendation after thorough testing: Make sure you eat enough carbs, protein, healthy fats, and salt (and drink lots of water). They were otherwise perfectly healthy. Contrast that to someone who genuinely has the condition anorexia nervosa. They don’t even look healthy. They tend to have characteristic brittle nails, bluish fingertips, fine hair, a gaunt face, and basically just lack that healthy “glow”. Yes, they might have the same vital signs as you did (low BMI, HR and BP) but they are not healthy! I can take one look at your pics and know that you’re just one of those skinny, healthy girls with a high metabolism. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you take care of yourself! It seems like people who say hateful things are just plain jealous. You’re beautiful inside and out! Keep up the positive attitude!
Amy says
I never even knew Google gave out those search names until I read this post and looked into it myself. I was absolutely APPALLED at the comments and judgements people online have made. I was so infuriated I wanted to go through my computer screen. These people know nothing about you and yet saying all these hurtful comments. Katie, in my opinion, I think it comes down to jealousy….you have an extremely successful blog. You’re a pretty girl! But use your “haters” as motivators! For every 1 negative comment you get like 30 positive ones! So never let that get you down. Those nasty people don’t matter anyway.
MrsHubbard says
I just stumbled on your website today and I love it. It doesn’t seem like you really had anorexia, but a health scare that you were wise enough to heed. You are healthy now and you have a great blog, helping others be healthy. It seems that the gossipers are probably jealous!
kim says
It can be hard to admit somethibg, but it can help for the better!! We’re all embarassed about somethibg in our life, but it’s okay to tell someone about it!! You may have just given the courage to do so!! 🙂 😉
Olivia says
Hi I’m a 15 yr old girl and am currently going through something very similar. I am underweight and run cross country and have been getting chest tightness and feeling weak and tired. I just had an EKG done which was normal, but my heartrate is only 44 BPM and I’m really scared. I’m seeing a cardiologist next week but I’m so scared going to die. How did you manage to get through that week of not knowing?
Chocolate Covered Katie says
*Hugs*
Oh my, it was so long ago… but just be sure not to run AT ALL if the doctor told you not to. Just follow your doctor’s orders to the letter, and if you are scared, call up your doctor for reassurance that you’ll be okay as long as you really do listen to what he or she says 🙂
Jacky says
I’m 15 as well and run cross country as well….the season is over now. I’m in the hospital right now, after being admitted. I lost my weight intentionally and had a 33 BPM heart rate when they admitted me. Now I’m “recovering” and they are saying I can’t run when I leave here and I’m having a REALly hard time with this…running is what makes me not a waste of space…and even being quote “low weight” I don’t look all that thin and really don’t want to gain weight back and especially stop running because I NEED to be fast for next season…when you took a break from running did it kill your speed too? I don’t really care how slow my heart goes…I just need to run…thanks so much.
Kp3girl says
I love you, Katie!!! You are so strong and am my hero- I am struggling with weight gain and you keep me going. I love you. Thank you so, so much. Xoxo =)
Anonymous says
Katie, I have been following you about 6 months, have fallen in love with your recopies and have just been reading more about you as a person. Your recopies have been so helpful for me as I was recently diagnosed with Celiac, and as I enjoy making yummy food healthy. Not only that, these recent blogs regarding weight, running, rumors, and life have been especially helpful for me as I have grown up around eating disorders, but have strived to be healthy properly-and with the Lord’s help. It is still a constant mind battle, as kids watch and learn from their environment, but I know I will succeed. I truly do appreciate that woman can eat yummy yummy food, enjoy life, love exercise and help people. I too am a runner, have run some halves and a marathon. With the last year of all my health stuff and Celiac disease I haven’t been able to run-but I am slowly getting back into it and can’t wait for my next race, whenever that can be. It really sounds like you are an honest person-I appreciate that.
Aeva says
I had a school doctor send me to a cardiologist once. She thought I had a heart murmur, but the cardiologist looked and me and said, “Honey, you’re just skinny and flat-chested. That sound is the blood pumping through your veins.”
Ah…those awkward, gangly teenage years. Glad you caught it, Katie, and that it all turned out ok for you!
Aria says
I really appreciate this post. I’m in my senior year of high school and have always been on the lower end of weight as well. I’ve done track, marching band, and I like to go for runs when I have the time. I finally became a vegetarian this year and I also decided to eat a lot healthier. However, I’m only 5’2″ and my weight dropped from 92 lbs to 83 before I knew it. When I realized I’d been losing weight, I calculated how many calories I was getting in a day and it was under 1000 (as I’m sure you know, not good). I’ve been working on gaining the weight back since. Very few people are sympathetic to me because they think gaining weight is no problem but it’s been really difficult. Meanwhile I’ve also had to deal with the lack of support from my family in my decision to be a vegetarian. I’m now up to the 87-88 lb range and I’m working my way back up. Reading your post really meant a lot to me because I’ve felt ashamed thinking I’m the only person that could have done something like this. I just want to say I love your website and perusing through the numerous recipes is one of my favorite pastimes. Thank you for everything you do!