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Sticks and Stones and Weed and Bombs

by Chocolate-Covered Katie on June 10, 2009

But names will never hurt me.

(Channelling my inner MIA?)

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Yet another heavy post today:

For the most part, I absolutely loved reading everyones’ comments on the Processed foods and Soybeans and Tofu– oh my! post.  Maybe I should rant more often, because my complaints sparked some great responses! 

I must apologize, though, for the drama caused by my previous post.  (Although a bit of drama can be kinda fun every now and then, right? :) )  As I stated in that post, I was in NO WAY attacking any blogger.  I’m especially puzzled as to why some people thought I was putting down the raw movement when I specifically stated in my post that I had no problems with raw foodists.  In fact, some of my very good friends eat solely raw foods.  No, my qualm is with people–raw foodist or not–who tell others what is the “right” way to eat and what is the “wrong” way.  It goes both ways:  if you’re an eater of the standard American diet telling a raw foodist how to eat, you are just as much at fault.  The emails I’ve been getting from impressionable girls are heartbreaking, y’all.  Heartbreaking. 

We need to learn how to live and let live.  Hey, I’ve had to learn the lesson too: You can probably imagine how my family members reacted eight years ago when, as a new vegan, I tried to tell them they were evil for eating hamburgers.  Poor CCV family members.  What they’ve had to put up with from me through the years… ;) .

Ironically enough, the blogger that a few people thought I was attacking is actually a very sweet girl who has never tried to force her beliefs on anyone.  Although I did say I was all for freedom of the press, and therefore I don’t usually censor comments, I made the decision to delete the few malicious comments left about another blogger.  (I also deleted another controversial comment at the request of the commenter.) 

I have big shoulders (figuratively-speaking, anyway!), and therefore I’m happy to take whatever negative comments you want to dish out at me on my blogHowever, I don’t feel that it’s right to use the comment section of my blog to attack someone else.  I emailed the blogger about whom the comments were left, and luckily she has big shoulders too.  I hope that I can still call her my friend after all this drama.

But people, please try to remember that when you write a hateful comment about someone, you are writing a comment about a real, living and breathing person who has feelings.  Before leaving a comment, turn the tables and try to ask yourself how you’d feel if you were the recipient of such a comment.          

Once again, thanks so much for all the great, well-thought-out comments on the post!

And I promise that my next post’s topic will be much lighter!!

Love,

CCV

P.S. There are quite a few people/comments/emails/posts to which I haven’t yet responded.  But I’ll get there (hopefully soon)!   

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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

brandi June 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

I didn’t get to read all the comments, yet, but I”m sure it got a good response! I’m glad you wrote it, though :)

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prettyladycmu June 10, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Thanks for this great response! I never thought you were attacking another blogger, and I certainly hope my comment didn’t come off that way! No matter what exists out in the blog world, I think people have to be responsible and accountable for themselves and their words above all – readers trying to blame blogs, or lashing out at blogs is unacceptable! Thank you for YOUR blog and your wonderful posts.

Have a great day!

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Mara @ What's For Dinner? June 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

I’m glad you wrote that post, because I think you said what a lot of people have been thinking but are too afraid to say. Someone commented that we should “eat foods that make us feel good”… and I agree!
You rock, Miss CCV!

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ellie June 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

going to check out the post now…missed it yesterday.

I’ve had some negative nasty comments too which don’t affect me (shoulders of STEEL :P ) but I delete them for the sake of my lovely supportive readers.

There has been a lot of controversy about raw/soy/etc and ways to eat- I have nothing but upmost respect for people who take on new challenges and find things that work for them. If that’s eating raw or eating nothing but McDonalds- if that’s what they feel is in their interest to do for whatever reason, I am behind them 100%. I was wary of posting pictures of some of my food because I am in no way a “clean” eater and was scared of criticism, but the choices I make, as I’ve made clear on my blog, are about my journey and finding a happy medium. I would never force my beliefs/ideas or aanyone else, but my thoughts are there on my blog and open for people to read and think about if it’s of interest to them.

have a great wednesday!

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Cindy June 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

I think you said it (I’m a new reader BTW) :)

we all need to live and let live..it’s a very personal journey for each of us and we are all here ( I think) to share and learn from each other and for support and some fun!

that said, no one should feel judged or be judged.

my husband’s only problem with MY raw/vegan/healthy food journey is how people JUDGE and look down on you (if you say, are eating a nice steak sitting next to a vegan)… we don’t eat the same..his needs are very different from mine and we DO affect each other and hopefully in positive ways but as a couple we meet each other half way

I personally am trying to see if some bloating and digestive issues could be soy related.. I went off cheese and LOVE it…(never thougth I would say that) if going off soy doesn’t change anything, I will be back but have learned that, of course processed foods have a lot more junk than we need, so that means I may enjoy tofu and miso more…and watch out for soy ing. in all the other foods I eat

all these feelings and attitudes are good… it’s good to see both sides of the fence!

thanks for your post!

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Maria June 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Nope, i have to disagree, you are the sweetest blogger of the day :D ! This is another great post, Katie. Love to hear that you stick up for your fellow bloggers!

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nicole June 10, 2009 at 4:51 pm

hello! no worries about your post yesterday it was fabulous and today’s was very very sweet of you. i love that you say what needs to be say and you make sure everyone knows whats up. you are very nice to try to accomidate everyone. and im sure that blogger will sill be friends with you, you seem to have everyones back!
have a great day girl!

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Lauren June 10, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Thanks Katie. Even though I wasn’t the one who the comments were aimed, it still hurt. Especially since after I commented a few rude posts came, that may or may not have been aimed towards me. In any case, I hope you don’t think I was being cold or aiming anything towards you. I was just annoyed that many readers took your post as a reason to gang up on raw foodies.

Live and let live. Agreed! :)

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Gena (Choosing Raw) June 10, 2009 at 5:11 pm

You’re such a gem, Katie. Really and truly. Thanks for this — AND thank you for encouraging an open, intelligent dialogue yesterday. There’s always a place for conversation! xoxoxoxo

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Shelby June 10, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Love you Katie!!!

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Jane June 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm

i was so surprised to see the title of your post in my reader- weed and bombs?! Katie does pot?! And blows shit up?!
HAHAHA JUST KIDDING!
i had to put a stupid comment out there, amidst all this crazy blog drama :)

but i think you did the right thing in writing this post. i have all the love in the world for you and for all other bloggers! Make love, not war right?

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eatlivelovedream June 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm

So good with your words girl!!!!!
Like I’ve said before. Keep it up! LOVE this blog of yours!

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Anne K. June 10, 2009 at 7:48 pm

I think people forget sometimes that the owner of a blog is a regular person with feelings. I’m always very careful about what I write in comments, and in posts. I never lie or anything, but if I don’t have something nice to say about someone’s food choices or something, I just don’t say it.

I agree with both your posts, and think they were very well thought out :D You are a total sweetie :)

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Leila June 10, 2009 at 8:09 pm

you’re so super right. No one should judge another for their choices and that includes not trying to change someone to fit what you think is right or wrong. Good on you for bringing up the topic and having such a great conversation about.

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Rika June 10, 2009 at 8:53 pm

katie, your last post was super AWESOME! it was assuring and enlightening; we’re only human and we can only do so much because we’re not perfect! thanks a lot, im glad im a reader of your blog!!!

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Emily June 10, 2009 at 9:35 pm

I didn’t get to read the comments but I hate when people write nasty comments that they would never say to that person’s face. It’s so inconsiderate!

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Kat June 10, 2009 at 10:06 pm

I think you deleted my comment, and I’m not sure if you meant to–in any case, I wasn’t attacking anyone, nor I requested that you delete it. Strange.
Thanks for this follow-up post to clear things up.

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Stacie June 10, 2009 at 10:08 pm

I really liked both yesterday’s and today’s posts. Your blog and the “other blogger”‘s blog are the two that I read even when I don’t have time to look at any others. I love you both and hope you both keep on just the way you are.

Take care.

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miss v June 10, 2009 at 11:29 pm

whoa… in my commenting lapse, i appeared to have missed a lot of drama.

i’m with ya – everyone should just be happy they have the choice to eat what they want…. SAD diet or 100% raw. it’s about finding peach with yourself and what you put in your body. :)

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jennifer molica June 11, 2009 at 12:54 am

hey katie!

i just came back to the blogging world tonight, and couldn’t be happier to miss out on that drama. i haven’t even read the post, but i’m sorry to hear about your troll problems. people can be so mean, which IMO is not vegan at all. humans are animals too.

i’ve missed you terribly and will do some ketchuping in the near future. please stop on by, i’ll be posting more regularly.

xo jewbacca

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Jen June 11, 2009 at 1:04 am

Wow. I missed all the controversy, but I just wanted to pipe up and say what a great attitude you have, Katie! So smart and so compassionate!

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Emily June 11, 2009 at 1:40 am

Great post. I just read your previous one, and that was great too. One of the best and worst things about blogs is the open dialogue they engender.

And I think your attitude toward the issue at hand is pretty right on. All you can do is what works for you, what makes YOU whole and happy! I’m a vegan (who, btw, doesn’t really eat soy, for my own personal reasons) but I regularly cook meat for my omni husband. “Bad” vegan?

Thanks for the discussion!

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*Andrea* June 11, 2009 at 2:58 am

all i have to say is: LOVE<3

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Diana (Soap & Chocolate) June 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm

I actually really enjoyed the post in question that caused all the “drama,” though I’m disappointed that it became ugly on some people’s parts.

I read your blog because you’re passionate about the way you eat and you obviously take a lot of joy from cooking and eating what you make. That said, I don’t eat especially similarly to you at all (at least going by what I can see blogwise, haha), but I can certainly be inspired and get ideas from you. I’m free to take what I want from what you write just as you’re free to write it in the first place.

It’s so unfortunate that many are impressionable enough to let food blogs make them feel like their way of eating is inferior. Our society being such as it is, we (bloggers) all just need to take responsibility for what we’re putting out there, so thank you for the reminder, Katie. :)

Oh and I love the MIA reference! Haha!

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Ashley June 11, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Katie,

Coming from an eating disordered past, and being educated enough about the disease, I feel compelled to say this if not to help protect or inform others who may be able to relate.

I find it disturbing and unsettling that so many of the raw food/vegan blogs that get so many views are written by painfully thin, emaciated women who protest being genetically thin, inflicted with a disease like Crohn’s, etc. It scares me how many sick women’s eating disorders (I’m not attacking you) are manifesting themselves vaguely disguised as these food blogs. This is just the disease manifesting itself in another form, and I’m so incredibly disheartened by it.

I cant say any of these bloggers are intentionally being socially irresponsible. Because it’s really not “them” obsessing about food , it’s the disease that has taken over.

I’m not specifically pointing to you or any other blogger, I just really want to get your feedback on this issue. Please?

To all the women reading this feeling that “tug” that something isn’t right with how much you obsess about food, read food blogs, view food as good or bad, feel ashamed for how much or what you eat/exercise- please listen. It’s there for a reason. Even if you are scared, it’s okay- you are not alone and you will be okay. I would post an email for an eating disordered website, but I think that will cause this post to be pulled- but I’d be happy to help. Please email me at aryneska@comcast.net.

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Heather Eats Almond Butter June 11, 2009 at 7:09 pm

Katie,
So you’ll still love me if I eat a hamburger? ;)

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glidingcalm June 13, 2009 at 3:43 am

you covered all the bases. im proud of you CCV!

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MK June 17, 2009 at 10:19 am

I agree with Ashley\’s comment. I have thought the same thing when reading certain blogs. I would even wonder if orthorexia is the issue rather than other eating disorders. Also, I am growing tired of non-professionals providing \”professional\” nutrition information on their websites. For example, the bloggers who denounce soy but provided no references for their claims. I was so happy to read CCK\’s response about soy. Though CCK is also not a nutrition professional, I noticed that she at least mentioned scientific research and the fact that the findings are inconclusive. (I took a masters level class that covered soy and isoflavones.) I don\’t understand why people believe a random blogger but not the results of scientific research.

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